In My Opinion: Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined

Hello people of the Internet! Do you guys remember Twilight? That 2008 young-adult-vampire-romance novel that spawned a money making franchises, created countless jokes and memes that will haunt all those involved with it to their graves, and led to the making of a BDSM erotic novel so ridiculous that it would have the gimp from Pulp Fiction going:

He did what with the tampon?

For those of you lucky enough to dodge this pop-cultural bullet I suggest you hit the deck because in honor of the series's ten year anniversary Stephanie Myers has created another book titled  Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined.

As horrifying as this must be I can assure you that it only gets worse. For instead of being about Edward and Bella's lives after Breaking Dawn, or even about one of the secondary characters, this story is a retelling of the first book only with the genders of the characters-except for Charlie-swapped.

Just pretend that the child is your mental health

As you can tell by the gifs I'm not really much of a fan of this new book, not because what it is about, but the reasons why it was made. You see according to interviews the reason why Myers decided to create this "story" was because she was under the impression that changing Bella into Beaufort-I swear on my grandmother's gave that is really the name she went with-would stop the world from seeing her as a damsel in distress. Please use the following ellipsis as a moment to allow this to sink in.

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..........It hit rock bottom? Good, on with the post! 

Now the most obvious thing wrong with this is that Mrs.Myers is implying that the damsel in distress is a roll that can only be played by female characters which is completely false. At first damsels in distress were actual damsels because their stories were reflecting the idea of the time in which women were thought of as helpless plot points that turn into a reward for the hero. But like with other aspects of our world this idea has changed with countless books, TV series, comics, plays, and other forms of media having damsels that are not only male but have different ages, social statuses, and even species; go here if you want some examples https://youtu.be/SE7FK9H8gGE. Hell, even the hero of the series can be a DID.

The reason why this is possible is because a damsel in distress is not an role defined by what a character is but by what they do in the story, and needing to be saved by the hero does not mean they are to be hated by the fandom. In fact some of my most favorite fictional characters are the ones whom tend to get tied to the train tracks more than they should. The reason I don't find them irritating  is because they have personalities that are likable, developed, and don't revolve around their archetype. Take for instance Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane from Spiderman.

 I admit I see why Peter Parker is willing to dive off of sky scrapers for Mary Jane: She's pretty and seemed to be the only non-related female character that didn't treat him like garbage in the first two films, however if I were a superhero I wouldn't give her the same attention. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't sit back and watch her get roasted in a house fire but I wouldn't make her the eternal object of my love and undying affection because she doesn't offer anything about her to love or be affectionate about. I am sorry if she is not like this in the comics, but the first introduction I had to her character was in the Raimi films and in those movies the majority  of her scenes involved her needing to be saved from some type of threat, messing around with the relationship between her and Peter, or showing why the aforementioned relationship would not be able to function in the real world!

The relationship between Gwen and Peter doesn't have this problem; she is someone I would bend over backwards for even if she was just my friend. Not only does Gwen get into less trouble in the Webb films, but the times she does is usually because the threat is too much for her to take care of on her own and/or she was helping Peter beat the bad guy. And her contributions actually lead to their demise! Also while she does love Peter enough to disregard the wishes of her dead father to stay away from him she isn't too devoted to the point that she wouldn't break up with him when the relationship threatens her goals or emotional health. And even though she does take him back it is only after they both agree to make compromises that  they are both satisfied with. Like real, and believable, couples do. 

Stephanie Myers this is what a believable attraction looks like!

Unlike other Hero/Love interest parings I honestly thought that Gwen and Peter could have had a happy future together which was why it broke my heart when she died. Sorry for anyone who didn't see the Amazing Spider man 2 but not only does Gwen Stacy die she dies because Peter fails to save her. Combined with the fact that they had a real connection it is understandable  why Peter would become horribly depressed over her passing.

Why couldn't it have been MJ?!

But even after she is gone Gwen still manages to give Peter the support of a caring girlfriend by reminding him that he should continue on with his life even though she's not going to be in it. Well that is if cloning or magic is not going to be a possibility in the next film. This type of selfless love is something that both Raimi and Myers failed to portray and cannot be fixed with an overused fanfic-trope. 

That's all I got to say so until my next post I ask that you Live well, Laugh Often, and Love much.


Pics and Gifs courtesy of:

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In My Opinion: Why Donald Trump shouldn't be president

Hello people of the Internet! I don't want Mr. Trump to become our next commander and chief because of something I don't like about him but because of the thing I do like about him: How strongly he believes in his opinions. You can call him alot of things-sexist, racist, painfully archaic in his world views-but you have to admit that Donald Trump is a man who mostly says what he means and means what he says and will go to any lengths necessary in order to accomplish a goal; which is a refreshing and rare quality in todays politicians. One of my greatest pet peeves about the government is how a group or person can be willing to die fighting for a cause one second and then wiling to die fighting against it the next.

I'm talking to you democrats!

Even when his opinions are beyond wrong it would be a snowball's chance in hell for Mr. Trump to go back on them....which is where the problem arises. While this type of stubbornness works in the corporate world from which Mr. Trump hails from that is because the final say in a company's fate rest solely on the decision on the person who created and/or owns it. There are ways to make change happen, but the majority of them involve getting the boss to change his mind which is not the case in the American government. 

Although I believe our founding fathers have literally written us into a political corner on some issues they also made sure that the only way any one could change them-be they the president or a simple college blogger-is if they gather, or convince, enough people to agree with their opinion. We're not a direct democracy but we are a society that strongly believes that the views, opinions, and beliefs of all its citizens have a right to be listened to as well as respected which is something that Mr. Trump has yet to show he can do. Like with most opinionated people-myself included-Mr. Trump has a hard time accepting criticism be it constructive or spiteful, and has reacted to it in a fashion that is not only in bad taste but can be down right bratty.

The US has preached about the merit of people choosing their leader so strongly we are often judge as a whole based on the actions of our elected leader. This means that they can't give out the personal numbers of their rivals, or decline to attend a meeting they deem "is not worth their time", or make offensive and racist generalizations on a whole group. I'm not saying that they have to be complete push overs but a president must know when to fight and when to let things go since their reaction can be the only thing standing between the well being of their people and war. 

That's all I have to say so until next post I ask that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Gifs From:

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Back to school

Hello people of the Internet! This is just a quick post to inform that I am back in college and am so far doing well. I registered for a mandatory power stretch class to get me to the gym, and purchased three physical calendars to make sure I don't get tripped up by "surprise" assignments and papers. On the downside I think I might be getting depressed again since finding out that I had brought the wrong calculator today was enough to bring me to tears. I didn't cry though which makes me hopeful that this is just some lingering traces of homesickness, and the stress of being in a twelve bedroom dorm again. However, unlike last year, there are four other people who do not like a game of tag-literally some of the girls were playing tag-at eleven pm so hopefully I won't have to be the one to put her foot down for some quiet. That's all I have to say so until next post I hope that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

In My Opinion: Babadook is a brilliant film

Hello people of the Internet! In my opinion a good film is one that can make me laugh or cry while a brilliant film is one that makes me have a revelation like the one in the physiological horror movie The Babadook.

Created by Australian director, Jennifer Kent, the movie tells the storey of Amelia Vannick who after reading a strange pop up book to her son finds herself under attack by a boogey-man-like entity called the Babadook. What struck me wasn't the scares or acting-which were both done very well-but the lesson that the film had: Sometimes the best way to resolve a problem is to acknowledge that it exist. Unlike other monsters like Freddie or the Poltergeist ghost the Babadook draws its strength not from its victims fear or attention, but from how hard they try to ignore that it exist.

About halfway through the film I realized that it was actually a symbolic portrayal of how illness like depression are treated-or rather untreated-by society. Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that depression is just like this movie minus the shadow demon: Even if you are not the one afflicted with it the tension just keeps building and building until it gets too massive, or too dangerous, for you to ignore. While the whole standing up to the monster is a common trope in scary movies this one continues with the symbolism by having the creature stay  with Amelia and her son after the climax as well as have them interact with it. This is not a happy relationship-Amelia  and Sam are still very much afraid-but it is a necessary one in order to keep the Babadook from growing too strong again, just like with depression.

It is an illness that stays with a person the rest of their lives, and although it can be scary at times it will not keep you from living your life as long as you keep an eye on it. That's all I have for now so until my next post I hope that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Tornadoes, WiFi calling, and Idiots

Hello people of the Internet! Yesterday I got to know what my college's tornado warnings procedures were first hand when we got  a warning of one that could possibly form near our area. Around 2:15 pm I was in the library looking up TED talks for my field hours when the hum of an alarm suddenly echoed throughout the computer space. At first I, and everyone else around me, thought that the maintenance crew had once again triggered the fire alarm while working on the ceiling lights until the alarm sounded again and I realized that it was coming from my phone. Confused, I woke my cell out of sleep mode and found a message, like this one, filling the screen:

It was then I noticed how dark the clouds were in the sky, and how hard the trees swayed in the wind. Now, even though I had enough sense to know that the library-with its wall of two story high windows-was not the best place to be in if a tornado hit, I wasn't sure of where I should go. My dorm was on the other side of campus, and I wasn't even sure I could make it to the dinning hall next door without a branch or sign taking me out. As I sat stewing in my uncertainty two librarians came rushing towards the computer area using blow horns to tell everyone to log out and get to the ground floor as soon as possible; instructions I did not need to hear twice.

There is a possible column of wind and death on the way and I am not going to be here when it arrives.

The library didn't have a basement, or storm shelter, but it is built on the side of a hill so the lower levels might as well be underground. As I hoofed it down the stairwell to safety thoughts of my mom's, sister's, and aunt's well being sprang into mind. My sister would still be at work, and there was a pretty old tree right next to my house. Of course not wanting to fall and break my neck I waited till I had found a spot in the narrow hallway the librarians had shepherd us into to call and check on my family. Or at least I tried. Even though a decent WiFi signal had absolutely no problem what so ever finding my phone through the layer of concrete and drywall, the barest amount of signal I needed to ensure that my loved ones were still breathing couldn't find its way through a sheet of paper!

Before you ask: Yes, I am aware that androids can use WiFi to make phone calls however I had no idea how to activate the one on mine, and at the time I was too busy wondering if I was going to die that to wade through an online tutorial. For a whole hour I sat on the cold hard floor listening for the roar of wind, or a shattering of glass, that would signal the start of mother nature's bitch fit; which thankfully never came. The funny thing is I had just summoned up enough courage to ask the girl beside me if I could borrow her phone to call my mom when they gave us the all clear. However, my calm did not return until hours afterwards since as I was walking out of the building I over heard a boy boasting: "Why were you guys inside? We were out her the whole time and didn't see no Tornado."

Readers, I want you to pay close attention to the following words because they will not only help you stay alive during a time of crises, but  identify the members of your group who should not be allowed to breed:
Even though the human race has created technology that has allowed us to determine what the weather is going to be like we have yet to make a machine, or program, that can pin point the exact time, place, and duration of a tornado hence the reason why we have Watches and Warnings. 
During a tornado watch it is not a good idea for you to go outside, however there is no need for you to barricade yourself inside a storm shelter. That is unless the area you are currently in receives a tornado warning like my college did. Even though warnings do not guarantee that a tornado will form they do show that their is a high chance that one might. Meaning, that unless you want to take the risk of a one hundred mile-per-hour breeze parking an umbrella stand into your skull, you need to get to the nearest shelter as soon as possible!

That's all I got to say, so until my next post I hope you will Live Well, Laugh often, and Love much. 

Gifs:

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PSA: Check your kids book bags!

Hello people of the Internet! This post goes out to all the folks who decided to keep our species kicking and have the products of their-and by that I mean the woman's-labor going to school. Now, I know that whenever you empty out your kids school bags you expect to find old sandwiches, moldy gym clothes, and other such objects of gag-worthy-proportions but I am writing to you today in order to urge you to move those excavations from the summer, spring, and winter breaks to a weekly basis.

I love this gif

I don't mean to add more to the pressure you feel as a parent but after what I experienced over my Spring break I now believe that taking such a measure will not just improve your kids organization and cleanliness but safeguard their health from some pretty dangerous bugs. To make one thing clear I don't have a child of my own but I do have a fourteen year old, mentally challenged, foster aunt who like many kids suffers from the seasonal sniffles and sneezes. However, last summer my mom noticed that my aunt's allergies were getting pretty bad-the girl couldn't take more than four breaths without sneezing-so along with a new medication she got her to carry a rag in her backpack so that she wouldn't have to get up a thousand time during class to wipe the snot off her lips.

Fast forward to the fifth night of my break when my family and I are about to watch the Mocking Jay part 1; which was a very good movie that I suggest you check it. My aunt had already went up to bed an I was just finishing up some folding when I noticed that Honey-my sister's two year old multi poo-had yet again gotten hold of a rag and was busy tearing it to shreds. After snapping at her to drop it I made to pick it up and toss it in the hamper when I realized that I didn't recognize the pattern on it.

I don't mean to buy into gender stereotypes but in my house the majority of laundry duty falls on my shoulders and as a result I am pretty familiar with all the colors, textures, and thickness of the house wash rags but was unfamiliar with the dark green dots decorating the white rag. At first I thought my mom had brought a new set but that couldn't be because, again, I do the laundry and hadn't washed any other rags with that pattern. Next I guessed that the marks were actually my sister's paints-she has ruined more cloths that way than I can count!-but I scratched that idea since even though the dots ranged in size they were all perfect circles. At a lost I picked up the rag and brought it over to my mom who looked at it for a few seconds before exclaiming "That's mold!". When I hear this I had the following reaction:

I'm not one of those girls who will scream and jump up on a table if I see a vermin run across the floor but if you saw just how infested this rag was with those spores-and no I am not going to show a picture because I am just now able to push the image from my mind-you would flip along with that stomach. As if this wasn't disgusting enough my mom hit my sister and I with another wave of horror when she realized that the rag was the same one she'd given my aunt to wipe away her snot at the beginning of the school year!

This is literally how my sister and I screamed.

That meant that at some point between August and March my aunt stopped wiping her face with a square of terry cloth and started wiping it with a petri dish! Now, you may be wondering why my aunt didn't say anything when the dots started appearing and I remind you that she is autistic and in fact did tell my mom that she needed to switch out the rag that very same day which is how my sister's dog got a hold of it. As my horror over the whole affair started to cool down it was replaced with a mix of clarity and concern. 

You see, even though my aunts allergy medication could clear her sinuses like Drano she was still sniffling and had even started getting bumps on her skin. Her doctor said it could because she'd developed an allergy to our dogs but at that moment I feared it was actually due to the rag. For the rest of the break I watched my aunt like a hawk searching for the vaguest hint of a virus or illness that had germinated on that piece of cloth which had been thrown away along with most of the contents of her back pack; the pack was saved thanks to a mixture of ammonia and vinegar. Thankfully nothing popped up and my aunt is okay but from now on my mom, sister, and I are much more vigilant about what she carries in her bag and I urge you to do the same with your kids. 

That's all I have to say so until my next post I ask you to Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

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Just to say that I am still breathing

Hello people of the Internet! I just decided to make this quick post to remind all of my readers that I am still kicking and intend to continue writing this blog. Since my last post I have shrunk down to a size 10 pants and have decided to switch my major from early childhood education to special needs education. I will explain why I did so in my next post so until then I hope that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much!