Back to school

Hello people of the Internet! This is just a quick post to inform that I am back in college and am so far doing well. I registered for a mandatory power stretch class to get me to the gym, and purchased three physical calendars to make sure I don't get tripped up by "surprise" assignments and papers. On the downside I think I might be getting depressed again since finding out that I had brought the wrong calculator today was enough to bring me to tears. I didn't cry though which makes me hopeful that this is just some lingering traces of homesickness, and the stress of being in a twelve bedroom dorm again. However, unlike last year, there are four other people who do not like a game of tag-literally some of the girls were playing tag-at eleven pm so hopefully I won't have to be the one to put her foot down for some quiet. That's all I have to say so until next post I hope that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

In My Opinion: Babadook is a brilliant film

Hello people of the Internet! In my opinion a good film is one that can make me laugh or cry while a brilliant film is one that makes me have a revelation like the one in the physiological horror movie The Babadook.

Created by Australian director, Jennifer Kent, the movie tells the storey of Amelia Vannick who after reading a strange pop up book to her son finds herself under attack by a boogey-man-like entity called the Babadook. What struck me wasn't the scares or acting-which were both done very well-but the lesson that the film had: Sometimes the best way to resolve a problem is to acknowledge that it exist. Unlike other monsters like Freddie or the Poltergeist ghost the Babadook draws its strength not from its victims fear or attention, but from how hard they try to ignore that it exist.

About halfway through the film I realized that it was actually a symbolic portrayal of how illness like depression are treated-or rather untreated-by society. Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that depression is just like this movie minus the shadow demon: Even if you are not the one afflicted with it the tension just keeps building and building until it gets too massive, or too dangerous, for you to ignore. While the whole standing up to the monster is a common trope in scary movies this one continues with the symbolism by having the creature stay  with Amelia and her son after the climax as well as have them interact with it. This is not a happy relationship-Amelia  and Sam are still very much afraid-but it is a necessary one in order to keep the Babadook from growing too strong again, just like with depression.

It is an illness that stays with a person the rest of their lives, and although it can be scary at times it will not keep you from living your life as long as you keep an eye on it. That's all I have for now so until my next post I hope that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Tornadoes, WiFi calling, and Idiots

Hello people of the Internet! Yesterday I got to know what my college's tornado warnings procedures were first hand when we got  a warning of one that could possibly form near our area. Around 2:15 pm I was in the library looking up TED talks for my field hours when the hum of an alarm suddenly echoed throughout the computer space. At first I, and everyone else around me, thought that the maintenance crew had once again triggered the fire alarm while working on the ceiling lights until the alarm sounded again and I realized that it was coming from my phone. Confused, I woke my cell out of sleep mode and found a message, like this one, filling the screen:

It was then I noticed how dark the clouds were in the sky, and how hard the trees swayed in the wind. Now, even though I had enough sense to know that the library-with its wall of two story high windows-was not the best place to be in if a tornado hit, I wasn't sure of where I should go. My dorm was on the other side of campus, and I wasn't even sure I could make it to the dinning hall next door without a branch or sign taking me out. As I sat stewing in my uncertainty two librarians came rushing towards the computer area using blow horns to tell everyone to log out and get to the ground floor as soon as possible; instructions I did not need to hear twice.

There is a possible column of wind and death on the way and I am not going to be here when it arrives.

The library didn't have a basement, or storm shelter, but it is built on the side of a hill so the lower levels might as well be underground. As I hoofed it down the stairwell to safety thoughts of my mom's, sister's, and aunt's well being sprang into mind. My sister would still be at work, and there was a pretty old tree right next to my house. Of course not wanting to fall and break my neck I waited till I had found a spot in the narrow hallway the librarians had shepherd us into to call and check on my family. Or at least I tried. Even though a decent WiFi signal had absolutely no problem what so ever finding my phone through the layer of concrete and drywall, the barest amount of signal I needed to ensure that my loved ones were still breathing couldn't find its way through a sheet of paper!

Before you ask: Yes, I am aware that androids can use WiFi to make phone calls however I had no idea how to activate the one on mine, and at the time I was too busy wondering if I was going to die that to wade through an online tutorial. For a whole hour I sat on the cold hard floor listening for the roar of wind, or a shattering of glass, that would signal the start of mother nature's bitch fit; which thankfully never came. The funny thing is I had just summoned up enough courage to ask the girl beside me if I could borrow her phone to call my mom when they gave us the all clear. However, my calm did not return until hours afterwards since as I was walking out of the building I over heard a boy boasting: "Why were you guys inside? We were out her the whole time and didn't see no Tornado."

Readers, I want you to pay close attention to the following words because they will not only help you stay alive during a time of crises, but  identify the members of your group who should not be allowed to breed:
Even though the human race has created technology that has allowed us to determine what the weather is going to be like we have yet to make a machine, or program, that can pin point the exact time, place, and duration of a tornado hence the reason why we have Watches and Warnings. 
During a tornado watch it is not a good idea for you to go outside, however there is no need for you to barricade yourself inside a storm shelter. That is unless the area you are currently in receives a tornado warning like my college did. Even though warnings do not guarantee that a tornado will form they do show that their is a high chance that one might. Meaning, that unless you want to take the risk of a one hundred mile-per-hour breeze parking an umbrella stand into your skull, you need to get to the nearest shelter as soon as possible!

That's all I got to say, so until my next post I hope you will Live Well, Laugh often, and Love much. 

Gifs:

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PSA: Check your kids book bags!

Hello people of the Internet! This post goes out to all the folks who decided to keep our species kicking and have the products of their-and by that I mean the woman's-labor going to school. Now, I know that whenever you empty out your kids school bags you expect to find old sandwiches, moldy gym clothes, and other such objects of gag-worthy-proportions but I am writing to you today in order to urge you to move those excavations from the summer, spring, and winter breaks to a weekly basis.

I love this gif

I don't mean to add more to the pressure you feel as a parent but after what I experienced over my Spring break I now believe that taking such a measure will not just improve your kids organization and cleanliness but safeguard their health from some pretty dangerous bugs. To make one thing clear I don't have a child of my own but I do have a fourteen year old, mentally challenged, foster aunt who like many kids suffers from the seasonal sniffles and sneezes. However, last summer my mom noticed that my aunt's allergies were getting pretty bad-the girl couldn't take more than four breaths without sneezing-so along with a new medication she got her to carry a rag in her backpack so that she wouldn't have to get up a thousand time during class to wipe the snot off her lips.

Fast forward to the fifth night of my break when my family and I are about to watch the Mocking Jay part 1; which was a very good movie that I suggest you check it. My aunt had already went up to bed an I was just finishing up some folding when I noticed that Honey-my sister's two year old multi poo-had yet again gotten hold of a rag and was busy tearing it to shreds. After snapping at her to drop it I made to pick it up and toss it in the hamper when I realized that I didn't recognize the pattern on it.

I don't mean to buy into gender stereotypes but in my house the majority of laundry duty falls on my shoulders and as a result I am pretty familiar with all the colors, textures, and thickness of the house wash rags but was unfamiliar with the dark green dots decorating the white rag. At first I thought my mom had brought a new set but that couldn't be because, again, I do the laundry and hadn't washed any other rags with that pattern. Next I guessed that the marks were actually my sister's paints-she has ruined more cloths that way than I can count!-but I scratched that idea since even though the dots ranged in size they were all perfect circles. At a lost I picked up the rag and brought it over to my mom who looked at it for a few seconds before exclaiming "That's mold!". When I hear this I had the following reaction:

I'm not one of those girls who will scream and jump up on a table if I see a vermin run across the floor but if you saw just how infested this rag was with those spores-and no I am not going to show a picture because I am just now able to push the image from my mind-you would flip along with that stomach. As if this wasn't disgusting enough my mom hit my sister and I with another wave of horror when she realized that the rag was the same one she'd given my aunt to wipe away her snot at the beginning of the school year!

This is literally how my sister and I screamed.

That meant that at some point between August and March my aunt stopped wiping her face with a square of terry cloth and started wiping it with a petri dish! Now, you may be wondering why my aunt didn't say anything when the dots started appearing and I remind you that she is autistic and in fact did tell my mom that she needed to switch out the rag that very same day which is how my sister's dog got a hold of it. As my horror over the whole affair started to cool down it was replaced with a mix of clarity and concern. 

You see, even though my aunts allergy medication could clear her sinuses like Drano she was still sniffling and had even started getting bumps on her skin. Her doctor said it could because she'd developed an allergy to our dogs but at that moment I feared it was actually due to the rag. For the rest of the break I watched my aunt like a hawk searching for the vaguest hint of a virus or illness that had germinated on that piece of cloth which had been thrown away along with most of the contents of her back pack; the pack was saved thanks to a mixture of ammonia and vinegar. Thankfully nothing popped up and my aunt is okay but from now on my mom, sister, and I are much more vigilant about what she carries in her bag and I urge you to do the same with your kids. 

That's all I have to say so until my next post I ask you to Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

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Just to say that I am still breathing

Hello people of the Internet! I just decided to make this quick post to remind all of my readers that I am still kicking and intend to continue writing this blog. Since my last post I have shrunk down to a size 10 pants and have decided to switch my major from early childhood education to special needs education. I will explain why I did so in my next post so until then I hope that you Live well, Laugh often, and Love much!

In My Opinion: How To Tell Kids The Truth

Hello people of the Internet, and Happy Holidays! I know that we all have different traditions and rituals when it comes to this time of the year but the majority of you-especially those with young children or siblings-find yourselves grappling with the age old dilemma: How to tell the kids the truth.

 Hopefully you know what truth I am referring to because I would hate for any kids reading this-which they really shouldn't-to find out this way since believing in "the lie" was one of the brightest highlights of my childhood. My siblings and I would be so excited every year because of the lie and even today thinking back on how passionately we believed it-and defended it-brings a smile to my face. As you have guessed by the use of past tense I have learned the truth and I suggest you let those who still believe in the lie discover it the same way I did: On their own.

You see the reason  why kids believe in the lie so strongly isn't because they are stupid or naive but because the world they live in at the time is  small  enough for them to accept it. A three year old doesn't understand time zones. A six year old doesn't know how many children there are in the world. And ten year old have yet to grasp how impossible-and creepy-it is for one person to have spied on them for the entire year; but one day they will. One day they will realize the truth not because someone told them about it or made a mistake and said the wrong thing but because their view of the world will have expanded enough for them to have realized it on their own. Kinda like slowly waking up from a good dream that they can think back on when they need it. That's all I have to say but until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.





Sources:

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Happy Holidays

Hello people of the Internet! I know I have been absent for a while but between dealing with my roommates-which is a tale I shall tell in a later post-and struggling through the horror that is finals week I simply haven't had the time nor the energy to whip up a post until now.



Maybe if I stay in bed long enough those three quizzes and ten page essay I have due tomorrow will disappear.

 

In case you were wondering I had an awesome Halloween but a torturous Thanksgiving. The reason why this year's night of tricks and treats was so great for me was because I took one apron, four feather dusters, ten glitter-covered Christmas ornaments, a costume pearl necklace, my senior prom dress, two alligator clips, super glue, and a truck load of determination to create this:

 

 

 

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Martha!

I started working on this burlesque girl costume at one pm the day before my college's Halloween party and finished it about an hour before it was supposed to start. The hardest part was the feather bustle-which I made by following this tutorial http://www.ehow.com/how_8652680_make-feather-bustle.html-  but it was time well spent when I put it all together. I was about to skip the party until my mom said there was no way I could get it done and since I had the same unhealthy competitive nature like she did my mind took that as a challenge.



All I need is a glue gun and a dream

Besides, after all the hell I went through to get the body and the confidence to wear a costume that was tastefully risqué I was not going to let any time schedule-no matter how tight-stop me!Unfortunately my Thanksgiving was not as gratifying.

Even though I loved spending two whole weeks with my family I wish I could have done it in a house that made me wish for a vacation in the Arctic circle! For those of you blessed to live in a warmer country mother nature has decided to make the US her bitch and has graced the eastern seaboard with frigid temperatures that I am sure are just precursors to grander horrors yet to come. Things got better after mom pulled out the giant feet-pajamas and cranked up the heat but they crashed back down to hell-at least in my-when I made the mistake of chowing down on a slice of sweet potato pie.

I regret every bite I took of you!

 To be specific it was the pie's over sweetened filling that got me dumping and not the crust; which was absolute perfection. As I explained in  a previous post it took me a while to realize the hell I had placed myself in and about an hour to be free of it. For the sake of those with sensitive stomachs I won't go into detail but just know that this dumping episode was so brutal that when it was finally done with me all I wanted to do was curl up in the corner with a piece of celery and cry. I pray to god that Christmas doesn't follow the same pattern and I extend this hope to all of you as well. That is all I have to say so until my next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.








Gifs


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