My Disney World Trip

New teeth

Hello people of the internet! Last night I had the weirdest dream: In it I was in a forest after running away from the Spartans from three hundred-and no that wasn't the wired part-when all of a sudden my teeth start falling out! At first I tasted the coppery tang of blood and then when I felt something crunch between my molars I spat it out and low and behold there was my teeth.
For some reason it was only the two middle front ones on the bottom but I was still freaked out and tried to put them back in. They'd hold in the holes for a minute but with another gush of blood they'd be knocked out again and tried to go down my throat. At this point I was scarred and started running around the forest with my two bloody teeth, which I now carried on a small Dixie plate, desperately looking for someone to help me. As I ran harsh wind kept hitting at me, knocking the plate out of my hand and forcing me to crawl around in the dirt for my teeth.
After, what seemed like, hours of this I found a building-that looked like a dinner-and ran towards it. But just as I was about to open the dinner door I felt my teeth growing back in. Not only that but when I reached in my mouth to feel them I realized that the two new teeth were straighter and cleaner than the old ones. Happy about my new, gap less, smile I threw away the Dixie plate with my old teeth and walked away from the dinner.
I had another dream after that but I can't remember what happened in it and when I woke I hoped on my phone looking for the meaning behind that dream. I had heard that when your teeth fall out in your dream it means you're stressed about something or about to get some money but I had  never heard about teeth growing back. After a quick Google search I found this  on Yahoo answers by beatlefan:

Teeth dreams are very common, and have many meanings, so you have to look at the action going on around this symbol to find a meaning. In this dream, your teeth fall out, but they are replaced by new teeth, this is a good dream. What is a time in your life when this happens? When you are a little child growing up into a teenager. As this happens in real life, when it happens in dreams, old teeth falling out to make way for new teeth means you are growing and reaching a new level of maturity in your life. 

When I'd read that it was like a piece to a puzzle fell in place. Yesterday, on Easter, I had gotten into a fight with my mom and elder sister and had stormed out of the house. In a pair of salmon colored flats I'd stomped over to a small park and sat on a bench fuming for a whole hour, texting my sister angry messages  like how my life was stuck in a loop and that I always stopped myself from being completely honest with them.
My reluctance and guilt were the teeth and even though my mouth-which I guess was my life-kept pushing them out I kept trying to put them back in because I was scared of what I would have after they were gone. But a part of me knew I needed to get rid of the emotional I had been lugging around for the last ten years before I could move on. Even if it meant that I would being moving on with a huge gap in my teeth.

WTF!: Canada rape whistle

Hello people of the Internet! What you just watched is a Canadian PSA about rape. And before you ask, yes the statistics are that high. I'm not sure if it's because Canadian's report sexual assaults more than other countries or that it has a high concentration of sexual predator but according to my research half of Canadian woman have experienced some  form of sexual assault in their life time.

Now I understand how horrible sexual assault can be. One of my family members was sexually abused throughout her childhood and the effects of it still haunt her to this day. But be that as it may this commercial is absolutely ridiculous!

You are at a baby shower! An event to celebrate the coming of a new life and your first thought is to give the expecting mother something that will remind her that there is a fifty percent chance that her daughter will be attacked in the most horrible way possible? What the fuck is wrong with you! When she goes into labor would you remind her of her chances of her dying? Or that her baby could suddenly die for no apparent reason? It's inappropriate and comes out of no where. In fact I think it came out of no where for the woman playing the mother, I mean look at her face:

I bet you she came on set expecting to shoot like a bottle or dipper commercial only to be blindsided by this dark reality. And while we are on this screen capture what is up with that little girl beside her? Why is she smiling? Why is she playing the whistle like it's a Barbie doll and not a tool that will help her escape the perverts choking up her country? You could argue that she doesn't know what rape is  but I highly doubt that aunt buzz kill over there would let her be that ignorant. She probably read rape statics to her as a bed time story!

Another disturbing thing about this PSA is other than that horrifying statistic they don't give you any other information. They don't tell you possible ways to avoid being raped, how to defend yourself and/or escape if you are being raped, or what to do after you are raped. They just come in between a 33 second time slot, throw that cold bucket of reality onto the viewer and them leave them to stew in the horrible knowledge. It'd be like an anesthesiologist telling a patient "There's a chance you could die in your sleep" just before they go under.

It's beyond wrong and a well deserving WTF moment. 

WTF!: Twinz TV kidnapping prank

Hello people of the internet and welcome to a new segment of my blog I call: WTF! Basically this is where I talk about something so shocking it made me scream the aforementioned acronym when I first heard about it. Now, do you remember last  April fools eve when I warned you not to paink? Well now I'm warning you not to p-stage-a-kidnapping-at-a-park-in-front-of-a-dozen-moms-and-their-children-most-likely-scarring-them-for-life-and-try-to weasel-your-way-out-of-possible-jail-time-by-claiming-it-was-all-for-awareness-about-kidnapping-ank. Yeah I know it's a little wired but it's something that needs to be said because apparently on Saturday 5:30 pm two ass holes did exactly that. Their names are Jeremy and Jason Holden, a pair of twin you tubers who make their mark on the internet with shocking pranks like the ones mentioned above.
I'm not sure if the toddler they snatched was a cousin, nephew, or kid of a friend but one of them jumped out of a van, wearing a mask, snatched the kid off the bench then ran back to the van with a bunch of mom in hot pursuit. If you want more on the story you can read about it here http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/parents-outraged-pranksters-stage-kidnapping-washington-state-park-article-1.1758502 and if you know these two jackasses do me, and the rest of the world a favor, and punch them in the junk as hard as you physically can!
I mean, what is wrong with your brain if you think that simulating every parent's worst nightmare would be funny? And I know they said it was all for awareness but I'm calling total bullshit on that! I just can't stop thinking of what could have gone wrong: what if one of those moms had a gun? Or there was a police officer had a gun and they shot at them. Or what if while they were driving off they got into an accident?
I'm really praying that these guys go to jail or at least be banned from any park or area where children meet.

Junie B. Jones is what?!

Hello people of the internet! When I was young my mother decided to put my siblings and I on the right track and get us interested in reading. First it was reading to us  before we went to bed- changing the pitch her voice to match the different characters-then it was to the all popular hooked on phonic books-which she kept inside an old accordion binder-till eventually we got to the multi-volume "big kids" book. Though I quickly found out that there was rarely a book I didn't like but out of the Harry Potter's and Little House on the Parries's I found a book series that hooked me with the simple sentence of "Hi, my name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice, except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all."

Sweet Childhood

Created by the late Barbra Park the Junie B. Jones books chronicled the adventures of it's five year  old character of the same name as she starts school, has her first slumber party, becomes a big sister, and other such adventures. Though the books didn't have any magic, mystery, or other such elements like other books at the time did the way Junie B viewed and dealt with the world and the "problems" it threw at her was so interesting that once I started a book I had a hard time putting it down till I finished it. An early sign of my somewhat troubling reading addiction.

Though I did love Junie B as I got older-and got more problems heaped onto my plate-she got placed in that shadowed corner of my mind where I kept the other mementos of  my childhood, most likely wedged between the school house rock videos and Hug juice barrels 

The best producers of ear-worms

God help your mouth if you didn't get the foil all the way off.

But a few days ago the world of Junie B was brought out of the mental cobwebs by my newest addiction Buzzfeed.com. While looking around for something to entertain me till dinner started in the dinning hall I came across a survey titled: How Scandalous Is Your Reading History? I decided to take the quiz just to see how racy my  vast-and when I say vast I mean vast-reading history was. As I scrolled through the options, like the familiar Catcher In the Rye, Slaughter House Five, and other such titles I was brought to a halt when I saw this:

Instantly I was assaulted by a wave of nostalgia, memories of flipping through dog eared pages and reciting the characters refrain of hating her middle name crashed over me like a ton of bricks! After the tide of childhood innocence subsided I started wondering what my beloved Junie B was doing on a list like this? A second later I just shrugged it off, thinking that she was just their to see how "vanilla" my literary choices were and continued on with the list. By the end I realized that my reading was pretty tamed  and was about to go on with my web browsing when I got a better look at my scores:

"Wait a second," I thought. "Junie B. Jones is a banned book? But that's impossible!"

Though Mrs. Park's work was good they were completely innocent, hell, there are some Barney episodes that are butch in comparison! Reeling with disbelief I hopped onto Google to find out if this was true, and it was! According to the ALA-The American Library Association-the Junie B Jones book series was  number 

71 on the top 100 banned/challenged  books of 2000-2009.

I. Couldn't. Believe. It. I was so shocked that I wanted to pick up a vase just so I could let it slip through my hands, drink a glass of water just so I could spit it out, hell, I wanted to listen to Rebecca Black's Friday till I realized that it was actually quite catchy! Sorry if that last one doesn't make sense but the point is I was beyond shocked!

Every neuron in my brain was demanding I discovered why my quirky childhood heroin was placed on such a list! According to an article by the New York times Junie B. Jones has been an object of controversy ever since she was first created. Apparently Junie B's trouble making tendencies, "bad" language, and even her grammatical errors  as she narrates the story was seen as inappropriate to parents.

And while I do admit that Junie B got in trouble the majority of the times in her books and could be a  brat at sometimes it's not like she was being mean spirited. Most of the time Junie B's trouble making happened because she didn't know better or truly thought that her opinion was right, something that isn't out of the norm.

At least once in our lives all of us  have acted that way and neither us or Junie B got away with it. She did get punished and after a bit of pouting she would realize that what she did was wrong and would feel genuinely sorry about it, teaching kids-or at least me-to accept their mistakes and wrongdoings. 

This discovery really got me thinking of how messed up the American view of what is and what is not appropriate. I mean, how could Junie B be on the list when the Little Mermaid-a cartoon of how a sixteen year old girl sold her voice for a vagina and a pair of legs just so she could hook up with a guy she hadn't even talked to-be considered a wholesome family classic? It honestly pissed me off!

To the ass holes who put  Junie B on that list take it and shove it up your ass!

And to the family and loved ones of Barbra Parks I send you my condolences. Not only did Mrs. Parks create a book series that perfectly captured the thinking pattern and personality of a five year old but one that I will  be reading to my future children and grand children.

Sources:

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My registration journey as told by gifs

Hello people of the internet! As of 6:07 am I am officially enrolled for the fall semester of 2014! The most stressful part of the registration process was not deciding to retake a class I had failed in my first semester but getting registered in the first place. You see, learning from last semester  I thought I'd be smart and wake up at 11:57 so I could  get on the registration site and register before all the good time slots were taken.

(Signing up early! Singing up early!)
But I got as far as the log in page before I realized that everyone on campus had the same idea.

(I thought the website would be like this at the time)
(When in actuality it was more like this.)


"But, hey, no worries." I thought with glee. "I'll just keep hitting refresh button until it clears up."
So I did that and waited


And waited


And waited some more.


I was starting to get discouraged when suddenly I got pass the log in page and to the class search section!


I had never been so happy! Eagerly, I scrolled through the course selection, my spirits touching the stratosphere until this happened to my screen:


On the outside I was like this:



But on the inside I was like this:


And wanted to do all of this:



But, by some grace of God, I kept back my violent urges and decided to go to bed and try to register  in the morning.


But as I started to drift off into a peaceful slumber doubts and worries about classes that start at 8:00 pm and night time strolls across an empty potentially-predator-filled  campus started to whisper in the back of my mind.


It seemed the more I tried to ignore them the louder and more obnoxious those worries seemed to get.


Oh I put up a valiant struggle for my beauty rest but in the end I succumbed to the pressure and went back to my laptop.


And when I still couldn't get in I wanted to do this:


But then I got an amazing idea that maybe I could get through using the 4G on my cell phone since the college's WiFi was so crowded.
 
But what I thought was:


Turned out to be:


When I realized that it doesn't matter how fast a WiFi is like if the web site you want to go to is like this:


Again I wanted to do this:


But again resisted the urge and went back to bed.
 

At 5:49 am I got up and went to back to my laptop hoping with all hope that I would be able to get in.


And when I did it was once again the best moment of my life!


I'll admit the time slots weren't the ones I wanted but they could have been worst.


And when was all said and done I literally collapsed in relief.
 

If you are going to register for classes soon take a little advice from me:

1. Be prepared: If you can look at all the classes a few days before the registration date and make a list of all the classes you are interested in. Also it is a good thing to make different combinations of days and times you are comfortable with just in case your first choice is filled up.
2. Rest up and suck up: If you insist on signing up the second the clocks strikes twelve make sure that you get to bed and hour earlier than usual  and keep in mind that most of the other people who go to your college are going to do the same. If you can't get into the registration website after ten minutes go back to sleep and try again in the morning.
3. Don't sweat it: It is rare in life that we get exactly what we want so if you get a schedule that you don't like don't stress over it, 'cause chances are high you are not the only one. Also  people tend to drop out of their classes so you can always go back and check if a slot has opened.

But please remember that no matter how bad or good your class schedule is the most important thing ia not the time or dates the classes happen on but the classes themselves. Study hard and do your best to get good grades in your upcoming semester.

Pics and Gifs are courtesy of:

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