My surgery exspirance

Hello people of the Internet! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days but it's pretty hard to write when you feel like you've swallowed a beach ball. You see, three days back I had my gastric bypass surgery and it was the most physically, emotionally, and even spiritually taxing experiences I have had to date!

Wow, his eyes are piercing!

Technically my ordeal began proper the day before, on July 9th, when I could not eat anything. You read right, for a whole twenty four hours not a single morsel of food could pass my lips and it was brutal! Not just because of the stomach aches-which were so painful at times it had me wishing for death-but that for some strange reason all my brain wanted to think about was food! I even gotten into a long winded YouTube comment argument about how society needs meet that lasted for three whole hours and  by the end of it-big shocker!-I was even more hungry than before!

Cliched but accurate

As horrid as I felt little did I know that the worst was yet to come. You see, in order to ensure that I wouldn't have any complications with the anaesthesia not only did my stomach have to be empty but my small and big intestines completely clean. To save me any more discomfort my mom decided that we should do the cleansing at night. Why I thought this was a good idea I'll never know.  At first everything was fine, just a quick jaunt from the bed to the toilet every time my stomach gurgled. But by the fifth time all hell broke lose: The burning, the aching, the constant wiping, it drove me insane!

Love this movie btw

But the worst of it was that I couldn't sleep! Just when I thought it was over and I started to drift into peaceful  slumber my colon would squirm and I'd be wide awake and off to the porcelain throne once again. This routine ended around three o'clock in the morning and I slept till I had to wake up at seven where the torture began yet again. I truly believe that my skin is addicted to moisturizer because the second I stepped out of the shower-after washing with some pink water soap that the hospital gave me at my last appointment-and didn't put on lotion my skin started to tighten, itch, and got so ashy I looked like Casper's African American cousin!

After my sister got dressed we hopped in the car-going back to grab my mom's phone and a package of  my school books that had been delivered-and headed off to the hospital. As my mom and sister chatted in the front I sat in the back, flipping through my textbooks in an effort to get my mind off what awaited me.

"You'll be fine,"  I thought. "Hundreds of people have had gastric bypass and nothing happened to them."

But I still had my doubts along with the cold fear that I might die. After what seemed like seconds we were at the hospital  and in the waiting room. Luckily-or unluckily-we didn't have to wait long and I was escorted into a room where I changed out of my clothes and into a hospital gown. The nurses did all they could to keep me comfortable, gave me a warm blanket and even used this freezing spray on my hand so it wouldn't hurt too much when they put my IV in. My "family" however weren't as cautious. They didn't scare me with statistics or yank on my IV but they did the most meanest, cruelest, and downright evilest thing you can do to a person about to go into gastric bypass surgery: They ate.

And they didn't just eat any food, no, my mother and aunt actually sat there munching on white Cheddar popcorn and Doritos! Why is this bad you ask, well for two reason:

1. The smell: It wasn't bad but absolutely fucking delicious. Slowly the antiseptic scent of the hospital are was moved away by the aroma of white and Cheddar cheese that found it's way into my nostril like the serpent in the garden of Eden.

2. The crunch: Lord all might I had never heard a more gratifying sound than the sound of those snacks being brutally broken between my kin's molars! And to make it worst when I asked them to stop or at least eat their bags of heavenly goodliness into the hall they said no!

Just to be clear: I thought this, didn't actually say it.

This tourture lasted until twelve when the nurses came to take me into the operating room. Instantly thoughts of a blood bounded smack down was replaced by fear.

"You'll be okay," My mom said after I looked to her for assurance. 

Thankfully a nurse gave me some meds that calmed me down enough to not burst into tears as my mom and aunt walked back into the waiting room. I wanted to close my eyes as the rolled my bed down the hall but I couldn't help but keep them open; looking around at the people in green scrubs and other patients on the way to their own operations. At one point I saw a man being wheeled down the opposite side of the hall and gave him a small wave and a smile and felt a bit of peace when he waved back.

But what struck me the most about the OR was how different it was from the rest of the hospital. Where the waiting and dressing room was warm and inviting the OR was cold and sharp, everything shinning with a hard glint beneath the bright white lights. My observation was cut short by the arrival of my doctor who instructed me to lay down on a narrow table so they could give me anesthesia.

Now I know most people count to ten when they go under but for me my last moments of conciseness  was repeating the sequences of colored bars on the TV set beside the table:  White, Red, Pink, Yellow, Light Green, and Black. Much like with normal rest I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up I was in pain! I had had Laparoscopic surgery so only five little scars-held shut by super glue-dotted my stomach but at the time it felt like they had torn my torso open!

I was literally sobbing and begging for pain relief, pressing the button they had given me to release-what I thought at the time-sweet morphine into my veins! I still writhed and moaned as they wheeled my bed into my hospital room and my mom came to visit me. We talked, watched TV, and other stuff that got my mind off the pain till the drugs kicked in. After about an hour they left and I settled in for a nice-tender-sleep. Or I would have if not for the stupid IV filling my bladder up!

I swear to God, every hour on the hour I had to use the bathroom and unlike my colon cleansing I had to press a button and wait for the nurse to come so that she could unhook my IV, heart monitor, and leg vibrators-which are these pads they strap around your calves to keep blood clots from forming-so I could go. Not only was I embarrassed but I felt extremely guilty for keeping the nurses on their feet so many times.

By the next day I was feeling a lot better and was even able to eat some soup and jello while watching my newest TV obsession, Shipping Wars. I was released from the hospital around three and my mom and I went to Wal -Mart to get some broth and yogurt for me to eat since I can't eat solids for another week. Now since I was still healing  I decided to ride around in one of those electric scooters and after I learned how to drive it without knocking people over it was pretty fun. However that fun went away when I realized how I looked.

There was no way to tell that I had just had major surgery so in the eyes of strangers I rode past I was just a chunky black girl so lazy I was willing to take a scooter away from the old and "truly" wounded shoppers! Again I was so embarrassed and eager to get out of the store. As we climbed into the car my stomach started aching and I asked my mom if she could get me a yogurt. This is where I fucked up.

You see in our stomachs there are enzymes that are responsible for breaking down lactose which is the sugar found in dairy products like milk, cheese, and yogurt. For some reason after weight loss surgery, like gastric bypass, these enzymes go away and can sometimes stay away causing the person to become lactose intolerant. I didn't know this at the time but soon found out after my torso bloated up like a Macy's Thanksgiving parade float!

People it was awful. Not only did it hurt but every time I moved it felt like a water balloon was sloshing around in my torso. It was so bad that at 4 o'clock in the morning my sister and I drove to a CVS miles from my house in hopes of finding the liquid pain reliever the doctor proscribed me. Unfortunately they were out but fortunately my sister brought me some extra strength liquid Tylenol that allowed me to get some sleep.

As of today I am feeling and healing great. I am having a bit of an issue with the food but that's for another post. So until I see you again Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

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