In My Opinion: How To Tell Kids The Truth

Hello people of the Internet, and Happy Holidays! I know that we all have different traditions and rituals when it comes to this time of the year but the majority of you-especially those with young children or siblings-find yourselves grappling with the age old dilemma: How to tell the kids the truth.

 Hopefully you know what truth I am referring to because I would hate for any kids reading this-which they really shouldn't-to find out this way since believing in "the lie" was one of the brightest highlights of my childhood. My siblings and I would be so excited every year because of the lie and even today thinking back on how passionately we believed it-and defended it-brings a smile to my face. As you have guessed by the use of past tense I have learned the truth and I suggest you let those who still believe in the lie discover it the same way I did: On their own.

You see the reason  why kids believe in the lie so strongly isn't because they are stupid or naive but because the world they live in at the time is  small  enough for them to accept it. A three year old doesn't understand time zones. A six year old doesn't know how many children there are in the world. And ten year old have yet to grasp how impossible-and creepy-it is for one person to have spied on them for the entire year; but one day they will. One day they will realize the truth not because someone told them about it or made a mistake and said the wrong thing but because their view of the world will have expanded enough for them to have realized it on their own. Kinda like slowly waking up from a good dream that they can think back on when they need it. That's all I have to say but until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.





Sources:

http://media.giphy.com/media/kR0S22SGVDm4o/giphy.gif

http://media.giphy.com/media/zkSFsZpQMZuG4/giphy.gif

Happy Holidays

Hello people of the Internet! I know I have been absent for a while but between dealing with my roommates-which is a tale I shall tell in a later post-and struggling through the horror that is finals week I simply haven't had the time nor the energy to whip up a post until now.



Maybe if I stay in bed long enough those three quizzes and ten page essay I have due tomorrow will disappear.

 

In case you were wondering I had an awesome Halloween but a torturous Thanksgiving. The reason why this year's night of tricks and treats was so great for me was because I took one apron, four feather dusters, ten glitter-covered Christmas ornaments, a costume pearl necklace, my senior prom dress, two alligator clips, super glue, and a truck load of determination to create this:

 

 

 

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Martha!

I started working on this burlesque girl costume at one pm the day before my college's Halloween party and finished it about an hour before it was supposed to start. The hardest part was the feather bustle-which I made by following this tutorial http://www.ehow.com/how_8652680_make-feather-bustle.html-  but it was time well spent when I put it all together. I was about to skip the party until my mom said there was no way I could get it done and since I had the same unhealthy competitive nature like she did my mind took that as a challenge.



All I need is a glue gun and a dream

Besides, after all the hell I went through to get the body and the confidence to wear a costume that was tastefully risqué I was not going to let any time schedule-no matter how tight-stop me!Unfortunately my Thanksgiving was not as gratifying.

Even though I loved spending two whole weeks with my family I wish I could have done it in a house that made me wish for a vacation in the Arctic circle! For those of you blessed to live in a warmer country mother nature has decided to make the US her bitch and has graced the eastern seaboard with frigid temperatures that I am sure are just precursors to grander horrors yet to come. Things got better after mom pulled out the giant feet-pajamas and cranked up the heat but they crashed back down to hell-at least in my-when I made the mistake of chowing down on a slice of sweet potato pie.

I regret every bite I took of you!

 To be specific it was the pie's over sweetened filling that got me dumping and not the crust; which was absolute perfection. As I explained in  a previous post it took me a while to realize the hell I had placed myself in and about an hour to be free of it. For the sake of those with sensitive stomachs I won't go into detail but just know that this dumping episode was so brutal that when it was finally done with me all I wanted to do was curl up in the corner with a piece of celery and cry. I pray to god that Christmas doesn't follow the same pattern and I extend this hope to all of you as well. That is all I have to say so until my next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.








Gifs


http://giphy.com/gifs/llama-bring-it-on-mVJojMQvDwixG

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WTF: Potty-Mouthed Princesses

Hello people of the Internet! The video you just watched is one of the reason why some people can not stand feminist, which is especially bad considering that I myself am a feminist. No, I am not a she-warrior man hater who think the members of my gender should rule over the race of man but I do firmly believe that to deny someone a job, health benefits, or even an education based solely on their gender is just  as wrong as basing it on their skin color or sexual orientation and is a problem that needs to be stopped in every corner of this world. However this is not the way to do it; although I do understand that they were trying to use shock value to hammer in their point by using shock value but by having young girls-between the ages of six and thirteen-to do it doesn't make you look like this:

But like this:

Because the way to get someone  to stop thinking of your group as a bunch of irrational heathens is to attack them like a bunch of irrational heathens.

This is the mentality the creators of this video have installed in those young girl's heads and it is just as as bad as the mentality they are protesting against! They teach girls that boys are chauvinistic  pigs and boys that girls are soul crushing harpies; the ignorance drowning out the message for equality for both genders.

Sources 

 https://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png

http://www.success.com/sites/default/files/main/articles/Susan-b-Anthony_0.jpg

http://cdn01.dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/167273672.jpg

As Told By Gifs: Eating After Surgery

Hello people of the Internet! It has three months since my gastric bypass and I have lost thirty five pounds!



Hooray for me!

 

The weight lost has changed everything about me: My figure, my attitude, and especially my eating habits. You see before the GB I would eat anything simply because it was within eyesight but now the only time I can eat is when I am actually hungry.

So what if you have free pizza?  I have an essay to finish

In fact unless I really am hungry for it food is absolutely disgusting.

 

What is this sandwich made out of, toxic waist?
 

I think back on all the times I would just stuff my self without and ounce of remorse and think: Why the fuck would I do that to my body? However even though cutting and stitching my stomach down to the size of an ice cube has decreased the number of times I get hungry I still do. And when my stomach starts grumbling....I turn into something else.

 

 

 

 

 And God have mercy on you if you get in my way.

 

That's my cheeseburger!


 

It creeps me out a little how food can go from a faint blip on my radar to the center of my universe in a matter of hours. The worst thing about this is that even though I feel like I want to eat everything in sight my stomach size makes me full seconds into eating.

 

Three bites of ham sandwich is good enough

 

 

 However all because my gut is telling me I have had enough I don't have to listen to it.

 

A sloppy Joe as good as this deserves at least five more bites!
 

But I do anyway because if I don't I run the risk of dumping. For those of you who want to know what dumping is here is a link to a website that can explain it better than I can. For those of you who want to know what dumping feels like please refer to the below gif.

 

It's like your stomach just decides to punish you and the worst part of it is that you don't know how sever it will be nor how long it will last. It could be as light as a few seconds of dry heaving or as brutal as hour long bloating; aching so bad that all you can do is curl up in the fetal position and prey that it stops. As awful as this is it is the point of gastric bypass. Because of the pain I don't eat the food that causes it-mainly sodas and sugary stuff-and because I'm not eating that food I am losing weight. Sure there are times when I wish I could have a cookie or other types of sweet.

I'd sell my soul just for one lick!

 The mountains of vitamins I have to take on a daily basis so I don't develop a deficiency is extremely annoying as well as bitter.

Drug addicts would say I have a problem
 

 

And I have lost count of the people who say: "But you're so young, couldn't you have just dieted and exercised?"

 

 

 Readers, the reason why my weight got so out of control wasn't because I couldn't diet or exercise. In fact I absolutely loved to go to the gym; one time I stayed on the elliptical for two whole hours! But no matter how much I worked out my efforts would mean nothing since I had no self control when it came to food. I don't know if it's because of my genetics or my Aspergers but for some reason I couldn't leave the dinner table without my stomach aching. It was like I had something inside of me urging me to eat one more cookie or have another glass of soda and I just didn't have the strength to say no to it. And because of this I weighed two hundred and fifty pounds by the time I was twenty and I was miserable.

 

I chose to get the gastric bypass not because I was lazy and wanted a quick fix but because I could no longer deny that I had a serious problem and if I didn't get help it would kill me. Yes, the surgery was terrifying and the recovery painful but I knew it was all worth it because it would help me place me on a path towards a long, healthy, and happy life. Being able to fit in to a size ten jeans or walk without having to stop for air every twenty steps isn't what fills me with joy but for the first time in my life I can look in the mirror and say: I love who I am.

 

 

That's all I have to say so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

 

 

 

Gifs courtesy of

 

http://giphy.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



My Thoughts On: The Ray Rice domestic abuse scandal

Hello people of the Internet! Like most of you I have been following the domestic violence former Raven's Football player, Ray Rice, inflicted on his then fiancée Janay Rice. I believe domestic violence-regardless of the victim or  the abuser's gender, race, or sexuality-is one of the worst crimes a human being can do to another human being outside of murder and child molestation. While I was shocked that Janay defended her husband and I pray that Ray Rice rots in Hell the majority of my anger is directed at Janay Rice's family.



Right to left: Janay Rice, Ray Rice, Rayven Rice

The reason why domestic abuse can go on for years without anyone knowing isn't just because the abuser threatens to kill the victim-or their family and loved one-if he or she leaves but that they brainwash them until their self-esteem and worth is so low that they believe they are nothing without the abusers. When they get beat they will make up excuses to why they deserve it and if the abuse is discovered they will defend the abuser much like Janay Rice has done as of late. Because of this domestic violence is one of the most under reported crimes in America and has an 70-80% chance of ending in the death of ether-but most likely-the victim or the abusers.

But what gets me about this case is that even though Janay's family had to have seen the way that piece of trash-because he lost his right to be called a man the second he laid hands on her-dragged their daughter, sister, and blood kin out of that elevator as if she were a hunk of meat a month later they sat down and watched as she became his wife.



Her father walked her down the isle.

Her sister made a speech at the dinner.

The people who shared her blood sat their and let her vow to spend the rest of her life with someone who merely thirty days prior to this union did this to her:

.....You know, Ray Rice is lucky that he didn't do that to one of my siblings. I know a lot of people say that but I truly mean it. Because if a man or a woman lost their minds and hit my sister or my brother the next thing you'd here about it wouldn't be how I spoke at their wedding as if the person they were married to wasn't a piece of cancerous scum stuck to the ass of life but of how I snuck into their house while they slept and smothered them to death with a pillow or at the very least broke them so severely that they needed machine to breathe for the rest of their life.

Unlike Janay's family it doesn't matter how famous they are or how rich they are but that they caused  someone I love pain and if the law doesn't punish them as they deserve then I will. Especially if a niece or nephew is involved because studies have show that children who witnessed or endure domestic abuse are more likely to become victims and abusers themselves when they grow up. I pray, for the sake of Janay and her beautiful baby girl, that she gathers the courage to leave that thing before she ends up dead and I say the same thing to anybody reading this who is in the situation.

It doesn't matter how much your abusers says they love you or how much you love them the only way the beatings will stop is if you leave and never go back. There are hundreds of shelters and organizations that have been created to help those in your situation like the NCADV who supplied me with these domestic abuse statistic.

If you our someone you know is being abused you can contact them at  1-800-799-7233.

That is all I have to say on this post but before I go I want every person reading to know one thing: You are a precious human being and their is nothing or no one on this earth that has the right to tell you otherwise.


Sources:

http://giphy.com/gifs/e0ZEOmcLq785y

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf



Laundry Tips

Hello people of the internet! Those of you who have decided to leave the nest for the college dorms or a rented apartment some things about life are becoming clear, like the fact that clean clothes and underthings don't just fall from the sky. I'm sure that most of you know how to sort and clean your clothes but find that it cost quite a bit of cash and sometimes leaves your clothes smelling worse than before you washed them! I know your pain and have come up with some tips that can improve your laundry experience:

1. Keep yourself clean 

The majority of oaders that cling to you favorite T's and comfiest jeans come from your own body so a way to keep from re-washing your clothes multiple times just to get them out is to keep less oaders as possible from getting on them in the first place. This can be done by washing your hot spots-underarms and in between your legs-well and drying off completely after your shower with a dry towel. If a towel is damp or has a moldy smell don't use it, for along with not getting you dry it can cause the development of funguses and other skin rashes. You don't have to get a new one every time you shower-thus adding to your laundry load-but make sure to switch it out after every two to three days and hang it properly on a shower rack.

   2. Give your clothes a break

I know we all have that one shirt or pair of pants that we like to wear multiple times without washing and while it's true that some articles can have a few day breather they eventually have to be laundered. Even if you can't detect any smells your marathon wear is causing layers of bacteria to grow and if that colonie gets too big it can result in some series stank from your lucky tank. If you want  to know how long clothes can stay out of the bin follow this link http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Many-Wears-Before-You-Need-Wash-28694036.

     

     3. Hand wash 

I know that hand washing is one of the most annoying things in the world but it is a necessary evil if you don't want to spend your day smell checking yourself. One of the main reason why clothes stink even after washing is because those smells had been left sitting on the fabric for the one or two weeks you had it in the hamper. Also their a some clothes-like bras or panties-that shouldn't be put in the washing machine in the first place and have to be hand washed. It takes some time but can be made easy if you follow my method

Supplies:

From top left: Salad spinner, detergent, gloves, soap dispensing scrubber

Drying rack and shower mat

Now basically you just need a large bowl or some other container to hold water but if you have the cash I would go with the salad spinner. It's this kitchen tool that you use to get rid of the extra water on your lettuce and greens without bruising them; you can get them at stores like Aldi, Walmart, or find them online. You'll also need some detergent, a dish scrubber that dispenses soap, some gloves, a drying rack, and a shower mat or some other type of plastic or vinyl sheet so that you can wipe off any drips.

Step One: Prep

I did this at the sink but I suggest you do this in your bathroom or room in the case you have roommates; 'cause once someone has walked in on you scrubbing your undies the relationship you had will never be the same. If you got the salad spinner you need to take out the removable basket and fill the container half way with water and if you got the soap dispensing scrubber fill it up with your chosen detergent or pour about half the cap into the water. To avoid a mess lay a towel on the counter and slip on your gloves to protect our hands

Step Two: Washing 

In the case of shirts or pants just take the scrubber and scrub the arm pits, crotch, or stains and rinse off the soap. But if you're washing you underwear-or bras in this case-just put them in the container, all at once or one at a time if the bowl isn't as big. After letting them soak for a minute or two use the scrubber to clean the dirty or smelly areas and after they are all clean pour out the dirty water. To make sure that the bras are detergent free re-fill the container with clean water, swish the bras, around and pour out. Repeat this process until you can see no bubbles in the water.

Step Three: Drying 

Wring out as much water as you can, squeezing against the underwire for bras like in the picture above, and place the basket back in the container along with the bra.

Make sure to put the straps  on top of the cups to keep them from getting caught in the holes.

Place the lid back on on the cainter and push the pump-or crank depending on the model you purchased-until the amount of water droplets that are wicked on the outer container lessens.

As you can see it gets out quite a bit of water and once all of your stuffs been wicked hang them evenly spaced on the drying rack; they should be dried by the next day and can go into the hamper. Dry off the area and salad spinner and store it away for the next use.

I hope you find these tips helpful so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Moving into college

Hello people of the Internet! There are two reasons why I have been absent from the Internet for the past week:

1. My Toshiba touch screen laptop-which I treated with the same caution and care I would my first born child-popped the screws on the bottom causing it to open up at the seams every time I lift the lid.
2. I have been too stressed out by the major cluster fuck known as moving into the dorm to think about writing a single sentence!

You see my college gives students their own e-mail accounts on outlook so that they can talk to their professors, receive important notices, and other such thing. Now, I don't know why but for some reason after my first year of college ended I couldn't log into my e-mail account. No matter what I did I just couldn't get in so I decided to let it go and have it fixed by the campus text support when I moved in. Fast forward to the Sunday of August seventeenth when I arrived back to the dormitories to move into my new two person suite.

Really I was supposed to move in on the fifteenth but the car acted up and the housing office said I could move in on another day just as long as I came to them and got a temporary key card to get into the room. So while my mom unloaded the car I went inside to get my key, and that was where my problems began. Not only had I forgotten to sing up for the student loans that would pay for my housing but because I couldn't get into my email account I couldn't get the contract I'd have to sign to be able to move in!

I was crushed but was still hopeful. For even though I had lost my two bedroom their were still some rooms opened that I could have if I singed up for the loans. So for the next two days my mom and I had to get up at six o'clock in the morning in order to make my eight am classes while at the same time dealing with my financial aid. Thankfully on Wednesday all the paper work went through and I was able to move into a twelve person suite.

Yes, you read right, I now have eleven roommates. They get a little loud-and I think one of them might have a Taser-but it's really not that bad. That's all I have to say about so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.