In My Opinion: How To Tell Kids The Truth

Hello people of the Internet, and Happy Holidays! I know that we all have different traditions and rituals when it comes to this time of the year but the majority of you-especially those with young children or siblings-find yourselves grappling with the age old dilemma: How to tell the kids the truth.

 Hopefully you know what truth I am referring to because I would hate for any kids reading this-which they really shouldn't-to find out this way since believing in "the lie" was one of the brightest highlights of my childhood. My siblings and I would be so excited every year because of the lie and even today thinking back on how passionately we believed it-and defended it-brings a smile to my face. As you have guessed by the use of past tense I have learned the truth and I suggest you let those who still believe in the lie discover it the same way I did: On their own.

You see the reason  why kids believe in the lie so strongly isn't because they are stupid or naive but because the world they live in at the time is  small  enough for them to accept it. A three year old doesn't understand time zones. A six year old doesn't know how many children there are in the world. And ten year old have yet to grasp how impossible-and creepy-it is for one person to have spied on them for the entire year; but one day they will. One day they will realize the truth not because someone told them about it or made a mistake and said the wrong thing but because their view of the world will have expanded enough for them to have realized it on their own. Kinda like slowly waking up from a good dream that they can think back on when they need it. That's all I have to say but until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.





Sources:

http://media.giphy.com/media/kR0S22SGVDm4o/giphy.gif

http://media.giphy.com/media/zkSFsZpQMZuG4/giphy.gif

Happy Holidays

Hello people of the Internet! I know I have been absent for a while but between dealing with my roommates-which is a tale I shall tell in a later post-and struggling through the horror that is finals week I simply haven't had the time nor the energy to whip up a post until now.



Maybe if I stay in bed long enough those three quizzes and ten page essay I have due tomorrow will disappear.

 

In case you were wondering I had an awesome Halloween but a torturous Thanksgiving. The reason why this year's night of tricks and treats was so great for me was because I took one apron, four feather dusters, ten glitter-covered Christmas ornaments, a costume pearl necklace, my senior prom dress, two alligator clips, super glue, and a truck load of determination to create this:

 

 

 

Put that in your pipe and smoke it Martha!

I started working on this burlesque girl costume at one pm the day before my college's Halloween party and finished it about an hour before it was supposed to start. The hardest part was the feather bustle-which I made by following this tutorial http://www.ehow.com/how_8652680_make-feather-bustle.html-  but it was time well spent when I put it all together. I was about to skip the party until my mom said there was no way I could get it done and since I had the same unhealthy competitive nature like she did my mind took that as a challenge.



All I need is a glue gun and a dream

Besides, after all the hell I went through to get the body and the confidence to wear a costume that was tastefully risqué I was not going to let any time schedule-no matter how tight-stop me!Unfortunately my Thanksgiving was not as gratifying.

Even though I loved spending two whole weeks with my family I wish I could have done it in a house that made me wish for a vacation in the Arctic circle! For those of you blessed to live in a warmer country mother nature has decided to make the US her bitch and has graced the eastern seaboard with frigid temperatures that I am sure are just precursors to grander horrors yet to come. Things got better after mom pulled out the giant feet-pajamas and cranked up the heat but they crashed back down to hell-at least in my-when I made the mistake of chowing down on a slice of sweet potato pie.

I regret every bite I took of you!

 To be specific it was the pie's over sweetened filling that got me dumping and not the crust; which was absolute perfection. As I explained in  a previous post it took me a while to realize the hell I had placed myself in and about an hour to be free of it. For the sake of those with sensitive stomachs I won't go into detail but just know that this dumping episode was so brutal that when it was finally done with me all I wanted to do was curl up in the corner with a piece of celery and cry. I pray to god that Christmas doesn't follow the same pattern and I extend this hope to all of you as well. That is all I have to say so until my next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.








Gifs


http://giphy.com/gifs/llama-bring-it-on-mVJojMQvDwixG

http://giphy.com/gifs/7m8ucwyfg36CI





































































WTF: Potty-Mouthed Princesses

Hello people of the Internet! The video you just watched is one of the reason why some people can not stand feminist, which is especially bad considering that I myself am a feminist. No, I am not a she-warrior man hater who think the members of my gender should rule over the race of man but I do firmly believe that to deny someone a job, health benefits, or even an education based solely on their gender is just  as wrong as basing it on their skin color or sexual orientation and is a problem that needs to be stopped in every corner of this world. However this is not the way to do it; although I do understand that they were trying to use shock value to hammer in their point by using shock value but by having young girls-between the ages of six and thirteen-to do it doesn't make you look like this:

But like this:

Because the way to get someone  to stop thinking of your group as a bunch of irrational heathens is to attack them like a bunch of irrational heathens.

This is the mentality the creators of this video have installed in those young girl's heads and it is just as as bad as the mentality they are protesting against! They teach girls that boys are chauvinistic  pigs and boys that girls are soul crushing harpies; the ignorance drowning out the message for equality for both genders.

Sources 

 https://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png

http://www.success.com/sites/default/files/main/articles/Susan-b-Anthony_0.jpg

http://cdn01.dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/167273672.jpg

As Told By Gifs: Eating After Surgery

Hello people of the Internet! It has three months since my gastric bypass and I have lost thirty five pounds!



Hooray for me!

 

The weight lost has changed everything about me: My figure, my attitude, and especially my eating habits. You see before the GB I would eat anything simply because it was within eyesight but now the only time I can eat is when I am actually hungry.

So what if you have free pizza?  I have an essay to finish

In fact unless I really am hungry for it food is absolutely disgusting.

 

What is this sandwich made out of, toxic waist?
 

I think back on all the times I would just stuff my self without and ounce of remorse and think: Why the fuck would I do that to my body? However even though cutting and stitching my stomach down to the size of an ice cube has decreased the number of times I get hungry I still do. And when my stomach starts grumbling....I turn into something else.

 

 

 

 

 And God have mercy on you if you get in my way.

 

That's my cheeseburger!


 

It creeps me out a little how food can go from a faint blip on my radar to the center of my universe in a matter of hours. The worst thing about this is that even though I feel like I want to eat everything in sight my stomach size makes me full seconds into eating.

 

Three bites of ham sandwich is good enough

 

 

 However all because my gut is telling me I have had enough I don't have to listen to it.

 

A sloppy Joe as good as this deserves at least five more bites!
 

But I do anyway because if I don't I run the risk of dumping. For those of you who want to know what dumping is here is a link to a website that can explain it better than I can. For those of you who want to know what dumping feels like please refer to the below gif.

 

It's like your stomach just decides to punish you and the worst part of it is that you don't know how sever it will be nor how long it will last. It could be as light as a few seconds of dry heaving or as brutal as hour long bloating; aching so bad that all you can do is curl up in the fetal position and prey that it stops. As awful as this is it is the point of gastric bypass. Because of the pain I don't eat the food that causes it-mainly sodas and sugary stuff-and because I'm not eating that food I am losing weight. Sure there are times when I wish I could have a cookie or other types of sweet.

I'd sell my soul just for one lick!

 The mountains of vitamins I have to take on a daily basis so I don't develop a deficiency is extremely annoying as well as bitter.

Drug addicts would say I have a problem
 

 

And I have lost count of the people who say: "But you're so young, couldn't you have just dieted and exercised?"

 

 

 Readers, the reason why my weight got so out of control wasn't because I couldn't diet or exercise. In fact I absolutely loved to go to the gym; one time I stayed on the elliptical for two whole hours! But no matter how much I worked out my efforts would mean nothing since I had no self control when it came to food. I don't know if it's because of my genetics or my Aspergers but for some reason I couldn't leave the dinner table without my stomach aching. It was like I had something inside of me urging me to eat one more cookie or have another glass of soda and I just didn't have the strength to say no to it. And because of this I weighed two hundred and fifty pounds by the time I was twenty and I was miserable.

 

I chose to get the gastric bypass not because I was lazy and wanted a quick fix but because I could no longer deny that I had a serious problem and if I didn't get help it would kill me. Yes, the surgery was terrifying and the recovery painful but I knew it was all worth it because it would help me place me on a path towards a long, healthy, and happy life. Being able to fit in to a size ten jeans or walk without having to stop for air every twenty steps isn't what fills me with joy but for the first time in my life I can look in the mirror and say: I love who I am.

 

 

That's all I have to say so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

 

 

 

Gifs courtesy of

 

http://giphy.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



My Thoughts On: The Ray Rice domestic abuse scandal

Hello people of the Internet! Like most of you I have been following the domestic violence former Raven's Football player, Ray Rice, inflicted on his then fiancée Janay Rice. I believe domestic violence-regardless of the victim or  the abuser's gender, race, or sexuality-is one of the worst crimes a human being can do to another human being outside of murder and child molestation. While I was shocked that Janay defended her husband and I pray that Ray Rice rots in Hell the majority of my anger is directed at Janay Rice's family.



Right to left: Janay Rice, Ray Rice, Rayven Rice

The reason why domestic abuse can go on for years without anyone knowing isn't just because the abuser threatens to kill the victim-or their family and loved one-if he or she leaves but that they brainwash them until their self-esteem and worth is so low that they believe they are nothing without the abusers. When they get beat they will make up excuses to why they deserve it and if the abuse is discovered they will defend the abuser much like Janay Rice has done as of late. Because of this domestic violence is one of the most under reported crimes in America and has an 70-80% chance of ending in the death of ether-but most likely-the victim or the abusers.

But what gets me about this case is that even though Janay's family had to have seen the way that piece of trash-because he lost his right to be called a man the second he laid hands on her-dragged their daughter, sister, and blood kin out of that elevator as if she were a hunk of meat a month later they sat down and watched as she became his wife.



Her father walked her down the isle.

Her sister made a speech at the dinner.

The people who shared her blood sat their and let her vow to spend the rest of her life with someone who merely thirty days prior to this union did this to her:

.....You know, Ray Rice is lucky that he didn't do that to one of my siblings. I know a lot of people say that but I truly mean it. Because if a man or a woman lost their minds and hit my sister or my brother the next thing you'd here about it wouldn't be how I spoke at their wedding as if the person they were married to wasn't a piece of cancerous scum stuck to the ass of life but of how I snuck into their house while they slept and smothered them to death with a pillow or at the very least broke them so severely that they needed machine to breathe for the rest of their life.

Unlike Janay's family it doesn't matter how famous they are or how rich they are but that they caused  someone I love pain and if the law doesn't punish them as they deserve then I will. Especially if a niece or nephew is involved because studies have show that children who witnessed or endure domestic abuse are more likely to become victims and abusers themselves when they grow up. I pray, for the sake of Janay and her beautiful baby girl, that she gathers the courage to leave that thing before she ends up dead and I say the same thing to anybody reading this who is in the situation.

It doesn't matter how much your abusers says they love you or how much you love them the only way the beatings will stop is if you leave and never go back. There are hundreds of shelters and organizations that have been created to help those in your situation like the NCADV who supplied me with these domestic abuse statistic.

If you our someone you know is being abused you can contact them at  1-800-799-7233.

That is all I have to say on this post but before I go I want every person reading to know one thing: You are a precious human being and their is nothing or no one on this earth that has the right to tell you otherwise.


Sources:

http://giphy.com/gifs/e0ZEOmcLq785y

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf



Laundry Tips

Hello people of the internet! Those of you who have decided to leave the nest for the college dorms or a rented apartment some things about life are becoming clear, like the fact that clean clothes and underthings don't just fall from the sky. I'm sure that most of you know how to sort and clean your clothes but find that it cost quite a bit of cash and sometimes leaves your clothes smelling worse than before you washed them! I know your pain and have come up with some tips that can improve your laundry experience:

1. Keep yourself clean 

The majority of oaders that cling to you favorite T's and comfiest jeans come from your own body so a way to keep from re-washing your clothes multiple times just to get them out is to keep less oaders as possible from getting on them in the first place. This can be done by washing your hot spots-underarms and in between your legs-well and drying off completely after your shower with a dry towel. If a towel is damp or has a moldy smell don't use it, for along with not getting you dry it can cause the development of funguses and other skin rashes. You don't have to get a new one every time you shower-thus adding to your laundry load-but make sure to switch it out after every two to three days and hang it properly on a shower rack.

   2. Give your clothes a break

I know we all have that one shirt or pair of pants that we like to wear multiple times without washing and while it's true that some articles can have a few day breather they eventually have to be laundered. Even if you can't detect any smells your marathon wear is causing layers of bacteria to grow and if that colonie gets too big it can result in some series stank from your lucky tank. If you want  to know how long clothes can stay out of the bin follow this link http://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Many-Wears-Before-You-Need-Wash-28694036.

     

     3. Hand wash 

I know that hand washing is one of the most annoying things in the world but it is a necessary evil if you don't want to spend your day smell checking yourself. One of the main reason why clothes stink even after washing is because those smells had been left sitting on the fabric for the one or two weeks you had it in the hamper. Also their a some clothes-like bras or panties-that shouldn't be put in the washing machine in the first place and have to be hand washed. It takes some time but can be made easy if you follow my method

Supplies:

From top left: Salad spinner, detergent, gloves, soap dispensing scrubber

Drying rack and shower mat

Now basically you just need a large bowl or some other container to hold water but if you have the cash I would go with the salad spinner. It's this kitchen tool that you use to get rid of the extra water on your lettuce and greens without bruising them; you can get them at stores like Aldi, Walmart, or find them online. You'll also need some detergent, a dish scrubber that dispenses soap, some gloves, a drying rack, and a shower mat or some other type of plastic or vinyl sheet so that you can wipe off any drips.

Step One: Prep

I did this at the sink but I suggest you do this in your bathroom or room in the case you have roommates; 'cause once someone has walked in on you scrubbing your undies the relationship you had will never be the same. If you got the salad spinner you need to take out the removable basket and fill the container half way with water and if you got the soap dispensing scrubber fill it up with your chosen detergent or pour about half the cap into the water. To avoid a mess lay a towel on the counter and slip on your gloves to protect our hands

Step Two: Washing 

In the case of shirts or pants just take the scrubber and scrub the arm pits, crotch, or stains and rinse off the soap. But if you're washing you underwear-or bras in this case-just put them in the container, all at once or one at a time if the bowl isn't as big. After letting them soak for a minute or two use the scrubber to clean the dirty or smelly areas and after they are all clean pour out the dirty water. To make sure that the bras are detergent free re-fill the container with clean water, swish the bras, around and pour out. Repeat this process until you can see no bubbles in the water.

Step Three: Drying 

Wring out as much water as you can, squeezing against the underwire for bras like in the picture above, and place the basket back in the container along with the bra.

Make sure to put the straps  on top of the cups to keep them from getting caught in the holes.

Place the lid back on on the cainter and push the pump-or crank depending on the model you purchased-until the amount of water droplets that are wicked on the outer container lessens.

As you can see it gets out quite a bit of water and once all of your stuffs been wicked hang them evenly spaced on the drying rack; they should be dried by the next day and can go into the hamper. Dry off the area and salad spinner and store it away for the next use.

I hope you find these tips helpful so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Moving into college

Hello people of the Internet! There are two reasons why I have been absent from the Internet for the past week:

1. My Toshiba touch screen laptop-which I treated with the same caution and care I would my first born child-popped the screws on the bottom causing it to open up at the seams every time I lift the lid.
2. I have been too stressed out by the major cluster fuck known as moving into the dorm to think about writing a single sentence!

You see my college gives students their own e-mail accounts on outlook so that they can talk to their professors, receive important notices, and other such thing. Now, I don't know why but for some reason after my first year of college ended I couldn't log into my e-mail account. No matter what I did I just couldn't get in so I decided to let it go and have it fixed by the campus text support when I moved in. Fast forward to the Sunday of August seventeenth when I arrived back to the dormitories to move into my new two person suite.

Really I was supposed to move in on the fifteenth but the car acted up and the housing office said I could move in on another day just as long as I came to them and got a temporary key card to get into the room. So while my mom unloaded the car I went inside to get my key, and that was where my problems began. Not only had I forgotten to sing up for the student loans that would pay for my housing but because I couldn't get into my email account I couldn't get the contract I'd have to sign to be able to move in!

I was crushed but was still hopeful. For even though I had lost my two bedroom their were still some rooms opened that I could have if I singed up for the loans. So for the next two days my mom and I had to get up at six o'clock in the morning in order to make my eight am classes while at the same time dealing with my financial aid. Thankfully on Wednesday all the paper work went through and I was able to move into a twelve person suite.

Yes, you read right, I now have eleven roommates. They get a little loud-and I think one of them might have a Taser-but it's really not that bad. That's all I have to say about so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

The weird thing about post apocalyptic America

Hello people of the Internet! Recently I watched the latest  young-adult-post-apocalyptic-romance craze known as Divergent. Created by Veronica Roth Divergent tells the story of Beatrice "Trish" Prior a teen girl who lives in a society where the people are separated into five, known as fractions, based on their personalities. But unlike everyone else Trish is a divergent meaning that she's not all nice, smart, or brave. I have a lot to say about the movie but for this post I want to talk about something it made me realize.

 Now I don't know if you guys have noticed but America in these post-apocalyptic movie is unusually isolated from the rest of the world. The characters won't trade with, contact, or even acknowledged the fact that there are other groups of people just across the ocean. This makes sense in movies where the technology to do so has been wiped out like in Mad Max or The Book of Eli , but what about the movies where the new society is more technologically advance than the old?

Panem had the ability to make talking birds but they couldn't give England a ring when their people started revolting against them? You could argue that during the horrifying war that created these societies our allies became our enemies but
If that's true why aren't they still? The conflict in these worlds is usually kept within the society; England doesn't try to reclaim any colonies, Canada doesn't attempt to push further south, and Mexico is totally cool with letting us keep California. It is always a group of rebels fighting their own government without a peep of foreign interference, even though it would have been the perfect time for them to attack!

 This doesn't make these stories bad but it would have made the world it exist in richer. Like in Divergent wouldn't it have been interesting if Trish and her friends came across people from a different settlement and see how they react to them? After all one of the exciting thing about learning about cultures is seeing how different or similar their rules, values, and customs is from yours.

That's all I have to say on the subject so until my next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

We deserve better

Hello people of the Internet! I HATE SHARKNADO! I hate its lazy writing, I hate its horrendous acting, I hate its "special effects", and I especially hate how the people of this country are so into it!

For those of you who don't know what I am talking about Sharknado is two films produced by the Syfy channel starring the likes of Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, John Heard, and other such D list actors. Much like Snakes on A Plane the plot to these movies can be found in the title: America is hit by tornados so strong that they suck up millions of sharks from the ocean and dump them all over the city, first in California and then again in New York. The only thing standing  between the innocent populous and the toothy twister is Finley "Fin" Shepard, his ex-wife April, and a cast red shirts patiently waiting for a shark to rip them out of this awful flick.

Even though these films has to be one the worst films Syfy has produced-and that is saying a lot considering this is SyFy we're talking about-it became one of the hottest things to hit pop culture since auto tune and I can not figure out why! The popular reason for these film's fame is that because they are so bad and I can understand that. Not everything in cinema has to be so straight laced and it's actually refreshing to laugh at ridiculous films like The Stuff or Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,  or even some of Michael Bay's Transformers; but that's not the case for Sharknado.

The people of Syfy didn't create these films with the intention of them being good or that they would be so bad they would be good but just so they could some money for their next project. It's slap in the face, an insult to the viewer's intelligence, and a message that the people of the film industry don't care enough about us to even try to entertain us and that has got to stop!

My readers we deserve better. We deserve movies that enthrall our minds with rich plots and dizzying twist. We deserve films with actors who work so hard that we feel the heat of their emotions flowing out from behind the screen. We deserve to come out cinema, or drive in, or den feeling fulfilled by the series of images and sounds we have just witnessed. You can have your Sharknado's but in return you better give twenty Jaws. You can have your Paranormal Activities but only after I get sixty Poltergeist. You can have your Cat Woman but as payment I want a hundred Avengers with fifteen Kick Ass's and thirty five Dredds as change!  

I'm sorry if offend fans of this film but if we don't demand better out the directors, and the writers, and the producers of the film industries than the art of movie making will die.

That's all I have to say so until my next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sharknado

http://media.giphy.com/media/wD2RjaFur69bO/giphy.gif

In My Opinion: Is Barbie a good role model?

Hello people of the Internet! The chances are high that you have at least heard about the doll giant known as Barbie. Her and her friends and family are one of the most popular toy line in the world with more than 1 billion sold since the line's creation in 1959. Recently Barbie has gotten another notch in her job belt-which totals to a whopping 130-when she was made a girl scout by The Girl Scouts of America.

Almost instantly this development in the Barbie universe was dropped into a hot vat of controversy with people saying that Barbie, and her perfect skin and hourglass figure, would be setting a bad example for young girls. This is nothing new since the war over Barbies plastic perfection has been waging since her creation with people fighting to prove that she is either a bad or good role model. In my opinion Barbie is not a good role model simply because that is not what she was created for.

She wasn't made to empower young girls or show them that they can be anything they want but to be so sparkly and pretty that when girls see her on a shelf or on TV they will raise hell until their parents buy her. She is a toy, people, a modeled piece of plastic created in foreign country and posses not even a drop of the power her opponents claim she has.

I mean are you telling me that there are girls who didn't go to college because their chest weren't as full as Barbie's? Are you claiming that the reason why we don't have as many female engineers and scientist as male ones is because the girls of America couldn't get their waist as perfectly trimmed as Barbie's? Are you seriously proposing that the reason why so many girls have poor self esteem and body image is because they could not fit into the same mold that Barbie is? If you are then:

The reason why the girl's of America are suffering is not because of this toy but of how our society handles beauty and body image in general. For instants look at this meme:

Now, at first glance it seems positive, attempting to teach girls that some of the hottest women in history weren't the stick figures they know today. But once the empowerment wears off you realize that it is also teaching them that if someone doesn't live up to a certain image or ideal they are worthless and deserve to be shunned, mocked, and criticized; the same message that the TV, Music, and Fashion world puts out.

We need to teach our girls that a size twenty two is just as beautiful as a size ten and that a women with a gap between her thighs has the same value as the one with roles of fat on her back. We need to make them understand that what is considered beautiful  is a definition that changes with each new generation and instead of fighting to achieve it they should focus on doing things that makes themselves feel good.

That's all I have to say on the topic so until next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

https://www.dollgenie.com/new-blog/images/Barbie/girl-scouts.jpg

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivn-I0rvlXbwKfIkTK0ZNx-NApSWtkczErnPdMIae49pdcSW5zvSIw_esNCJ7Vou_KDWpf0ke-lPIpUGwKhlTKIi0pjP5JvrLZ0nlfxRp6kzYPRF_w1SNuOt5yokBBbR8hrbFISy3lNOo/s1600/aller.gif

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEhmtjRB1hxMXnFsh0aKIb2TiGi0DAER6BVgiUrfXr6E5UNrvvPYuiL1MSWOeXm4pTgLrAxCrUTmCMhhjmh8VxYi9vPNC5efnHdmz1d9cTWaCSe8qQ_Qfv83puiqxlG1MUVoh5q3alzH0TvTY-sBEY6ifnwVJPEJzECjy0TRjUda8pFoNzUgGfbiNhY6JkwRZoYrNpvyodh6A6NZWWwo=

Why I like the RoboCop remake more than the orginal

Hello people of the Internet! As you can tell by the title today's post will be talking about why I like the remake of RoboCop  better than the original. Now before you rush to the comment section filled with fan boy rage let me make one thing clear: I do not think the original  RoboCop is a bad film. It had interesting characters, good acting, and impressive special effects. However I do believe that it failed in explaining what would happen if you put a human inside a machine.




What I like about the remake is that they showed us how Alex Murphy deals with becoming robocop. When he first wakes up and sees how little of him is actually human he is horrified and ashamed. In fact he would have rather died than have anybody-including himself-see him like that. The only reason he decides to live is because of the love he has for his wife and son and how much he wants to see them again; a need that people-especially thous who have been in major life altering incidents or accidents-can understand and empathize with. Also because of this when the doctors start tampering with his free will and draining him of his emotion we feel outraged. But when Murphy starts to fight back against the program and regain his emotions- because his family needs him-we feel his triumph and want him to succeed.

BTW This is one of my favorite movie scenes

But in the original we are shown none of this conflict. Yeah the original Murphy is a good cop and loves his family but I question how much since after he regains his memory he never tries to contact them again. Unlike in the remake Murphy's wife and son-who I don't even think are given names in the original film-think that Murphy is dead and decide to move on with their lives and Murphy lets them. Through out the three films he is completely okay with having his wife and child believe that he was brutally murdered in a warehouse. Another thing is that even though he knows OCP is behind this attempted theft of his humanity he doesn't really call them on it. He does end up bringing them down but that only after they kill a bunch of people and his partner! This all made me wonder at times if Murphy still was Murphy or was he just a machine receiving snippets of memories and emotions from the brain some scientist shoved into it.

Though both movies were entertaining and had me invested in the action it was the remake that had me invested in Alex Murphy and thus is better in my eyes. I'm sorry if you disagree but that is my opinion. So until my next post Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b1/Robocop_poster.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/50/Robocop_film.jpg

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My surgery exspirance

Hello people of the Internet! Sorry I haven't updated in a few days but it's pretty hard to write when you feel like you've swallowed a beach ball. You see, three days back I had my gastric bypass surgery and it was the most physically, emotionally, and even spiritually taxing experiences I have had to date!

Wow, his eyes are piercing!

Technically my ordeal began proper the day before, on July 9th, when I could not eat anything. You read right, for a whole twenty four hours not a single morsel of food could pass my lips and it was brutal! Not just because of the stomach aches-which were so painful at times it had me wishing for death-but that for some strange reason all my brain wanted to think about was food! I even gotten into a long winded YouTube comment argument about how society needs meet that lasted for three whole hours and  by the end of it-big shocker!-I was even more hungry than before!

Cliched but accurate

As horrid as I felt little did I know that the worst was yet to come. You see, in order to ensure that I wouldn't have any complications with the anaesthesia not only did my stomach have to be empty but my small and big intestines completely clean. To save me any more discomfort my mom decided that we should do the cleansing at night. Why I thought this was a good idea I'll never know.  At first everything was fine, just a quick jaunt from the bed to the toilet every time my stomach gurgled. But by the fifth time all hell broke lose: The burning, the aching, the constant wiping, it drove me insane!

Love this movie btw

But the worst of it was that I couldn't sleep! Just when I thought it was over and I started to drift into peaceful  slumber my colon would squirm and I'd be wide awake and off to the porcelain throne once again. This routine ended around three o'clock in the morning and I slept till I had to wake up at seven where the torture began yet again. I truly believe that my skin is addicted to moisturizer because the second I stepped out of the shower-after washing with some pink water soap that the hospital gave me at my last appointment-and didn't put on lotion my skin started to tighten, itch, and got so ashy I looked like Casper's African American cousin!

After my sister got dressed we hopped in the car-going back to grab my mom's phone and a package of  my school books that had been delivered-and headed off to the hospital. As my mom and sister chatted in the front I sat in the back, flipping through my textbooks in an effort to get my mind off what awaited me.

"You'll be fine,"  I thought. "Hundreds of people have had gastric bypass and nothing happened to them."

But I still had my doubts along with the cold fear that I might die. After what seemed like seconds we were at the hospital  and in the waiting room. Luckily-or unluckily-we didn't have to wait long and I was escorted into a room where I changed out of my clothes and into a hospital gown. The nurses did all they could to keep me comfortable, gave me a warm blanket and even used this freezing spray on my hand so it wouldn't hurt too much when they put my IV in. My "family" however weren't as cautious. They didn't scare me with statistics or yank on my IV but they did the most meanest, cruelest, and downright evilest thing you can do to a person about to go into gastric bypass surgery: They ate.

And they didn't just eat any food, no, my mother and aunt actually sat there munching on white Cheddar popcorn and Doritos! Why is this bad you ask, well for two reason:

1. The smell: It wasn't bad but absolutely fucking delicious. Slowly the antiseptic scent of the hospital are was moved away by the aroma of white and Cheddar cheese that found it's way into my nostril like the serpent in the garden of Eden.

2. The crunch: Lord all might I had never heard a more gratifying sound than the sound of those snacks being brutally broken between my kin's molars! And to make it worst when I asked them to stop or at least eat their bags of heavenly goodliness into the hall they said no!

Just to be clear: I thought this, didn't actually say it.

This tourture lasted until twelve when the nurses came to take me into the operating room. Instantly thoughts of a blood bounded smack down was replaced by fear.

"You'll be okay," My mom said after I looked to her for assurance. 

Thankfully a nurse gave me some meds that calmed me down enough to not burst into tears as my mom and aunt walked back into the waiting room. I wanted to close my eyes as the rolled my bed down the hall but I couldn't help but keep them open; looking around at the people in green scrubs and other patients on the way to their own operations. At one point I saw a man being wheeled down the opposite side of the hall and gave him a small wave and a smile and felt a bit of peace when he waved back.

But what struck me the most about the OR was how different it was from the rest of the hospital. Where the waiting and dressing room was warm and inviting the OR was cold and sharp, everything shinning with a hard glint beneath the bright white lights. My observation was cut short by the arrival of my doctor who instructed me to lay down on a narrow table so they could give me anesthesia.

Now I know most people count to ten when they go under but for me my last moments of conciseness  was repeating the sequences of colored bars on the TV set beside the table:  White, Red, Pink, Yellow, Light Green, and Black. Much like with normal rest I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up I was in pain! I had had Laparoscopic surgery so only five little scars-held shut by super glue-dotted my stomach but at the time it felt like they had torn my torso open!

I was literally sobbing and begging for pain relief, pressing the button they had given me to release-what I thought at the time-sweet morphine into my veins! I still writhed and moaned as they wheeled my bed into my hospital room and my mom came to visit me. We talked, watched TV, and other stuff that got my mind off the pain till the drugs kicked in. After about an hour they left and I settled in for a nice-tender-sleep. Or I would have if not for the stupid IV filling my bladder up!

I swear to God, every hour on the hour I had to use the bathroom and unlike my colon cleansing I had to press a button and wait for the nurse to come so that she could unhook my IV, heart monitor, and leg vibrators-which are these pads they strap around your calves to keep blood clots from forming-so I could go. Not only was I embarrassed but I felt extremely guilty for keeping the nurses on their feet so many times.

By the next day I was feeling a lot better and was even able to eat some soup and jello while watching my newest TV obsession, Shipping Wars. I was released from the hospital around three and my mom and I went to Wal -Mart to get some broth and yogurt for me to eat since I can't eat solids for another week. Now since I was still healing  I decided to ride around in one of those electric scooters and after I learned how to drive it without knocking people over it was pretty fun. However that fun went away when I realized how I looked.

There was no way to tell that I had just had major surgery so in the eyes of strangers I rode past I was just a chunky black girl so lazy I was willing to take a scooter away from the old and "truly" wounded shoppers! Again I was so embarrassed and eager to get out of the store. As we climbed into the car my stomach started aching and I asked my mom if she could get me a yogurt. This is where I fucked up.

You see in our stomachs there are enzymes that are responsible for breaking down lactose which is the sugar found in dairy products like milk, cheese, and yogurt. For some reason after weight loss surgery, like gastric bypass, these enzymes go away and can sometimes stay away causing the person to become lactose intolerant. I didn't know this at the time but soon found out after my torso bloated up like a Macy's Thanksgiving parade float!

People it was awful. Not only did it hurt but every time I moved it felt like a water balloon was sloshing around in my torso. It was so bad that at 4 o'clock in the morning my sister and I drove to a CVS miles from my house in hopes of finding the liquid pain reliever the doctor proscribed me. Unfortunately they were out but fortunately my sister brought me some extra strength liquid Tylenol that allowed me to get some sleep.

As of today I am feeling and healing great. I am having a bit of an issue with the food but that's for another post. So until I see you again Live well, Laugh often, and Love much.

Sources 

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Two more days to go!

Hello people of the internet! The picture above is of my incentive spirometer which is a machine that encourages me to breath deeply.  I have to "exercise" with this every day because am going into surgery on the 10th! And yes, I am nervous as hell!