Meredith, I feel your pain

Hello people of the internet! Though this Spring break I wasn't able to go to any of my gastric bypass appointments I was able to:

• Clean my bathroom and bedroom
• Revamp my sewing table
• Pick up my sister's new puppy 
• Watch The Family Stone 

As I watched it I wasn't struck by the brilliant writing and acting but how similar I was to the main character Meredith, played by Sarah Jessica Parker. The uncomfortable way  she tries to get along with her intended husband's family is how I interact with strangers every day. When ever someone I don't know comes up to me it's like invisible armor closes around my body and every inch of me just screams "Go away! I don't know you and don't want to talk to you!". But, because I know this is rude, I try to be the exact opposite. becoming more and more distressed by the minute because the stranger and I both know my act isn't working.
I don't know why I do this because I'm someone who really likes people and wants people to like me. But just like Meredith's proper and uptight attitude gets in the way of her connecting with the Stones my Asperger gets in  the way of me connecting with other people. This scares me  because the man whose's going to marry me and have kids with me and, hopefully, stays with me till the day I die is going to most likely be a stranger.
He could be the guy who sits next to me in my English class, or on the bus on my way to work at the library, or the one who helps me reach the can of minced clams on the top shelf. He could be the one person I have been waiting my whole life for and because my Aspergers equates anyone new with bad I could end up pushing him away.
So Meredith when I say I feel your pain I mean it. But at least you had a man who was willing to see past that armor your body automatically put on to the wonderful woman you could be.