My Spring Break

Hello people of the internet! As you know the phenomenon know as Spring Break is almost upon us and while most of you will be spending it living it up on a sunny beach I will be spending it in a doctor's office. You see, after years of fighting a battle with my weight I have decided to undergo Gastric Bypass. This is because even though I am relatively healthy I know my control issues with food-particularly sweets-will lead me to that operating table at some point latter in my life so I might as well do it now while I can still see my toes.
Luckily for me I have not one but two people in my family who have successfully gone through the surgery: My mom and elder sister! My sister had her's mere months ago the day before thanksgiving-oh the irony!-and my mom had hers a few years after giving birth to me. I still have foggy memories of her coming home from the hospital, her movements slow and each step punctuated with a wince or moan, and can recall lying in bed next to her following the thick scar lines across her stomach. Unfortunately for her the doctors had to open her torso in order to get to her stomach but fortunately I will be spared such a fate thanks to the miracle of laparoscopic surgery as depicted in the video below:

I have been watching videos like this ever since I decided to go through with the GB because-thanks to my Asperger-I need to be fully informed and in control about something or else I'll freak out! Which is why the pain of recovery or the chance that the docs might accidentally leave a tool inside of me doesn't freak me out but the going under anesthesia. Yes a part of me is scared that it won't work all the way and I'll be awake while the surgeons cut and paste my guts around but the big thing that scares me is that I won't know how I will take it.

The mystery, the not being able to see between conscious and unconscious, terrifies me so much that sometimes I think about backing out of the surgery entirely! But then I look at my belly squeezed into my jeans and at my mom and sister who are so happy in their new bodies and I realize that the few seconds of unknowing-panic will be worth it. I have also found amazing blogs like this: http://www.moundalexis.com/tm/2010/02/02/the-feeling-of-general-anesthesia/ , that have been a great help.

You can bet I will be blogging about each and every step on the journey to the skinny me I have always had in my head.