Most hated amusement park rides!

Hello people of the internet! I love amusement parks! They are places specifically designed to make people happy and if they got rid of the long lines, over priced food, and the sometime handsy park mascots each one would be a little slice of heaven! I am proud to say that I am so well traveled in AP's that I'm actually almost sick of Universal Studios and-the summary of all things good with childhood-Disney World. Emphasis on the word almost. Despite my love for them there are a couple of rides and attractions that add a bitter sting to that blurry eyed stumble to the car at the end of the day which I'm going to tell you right now! But before I start let me say that in the off chances that the people who made these rides are reading this: I mean you no offense. I truly appreciate the work you do to bring such joy to others and am just voicing my opinion based on personal experience. With that out of the way let's kick this list off with:

4. Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room (Disney World, Magic Kingdom)

Now my family and I stepped into this "delightful" little shack during our 2012 Christmas vacation by accident. We were looking for the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride and when we saw that there was a show coming up in few seconds thought we'd pop in to rest our-by then-aching feet and watch a little show that I'd thought would be cute and charming. Oh how, painfully, wrong I was. According to Disney World.com the Enchanted Tiki Room was installed in 1963 and though it had been updated with modern technology like a state-of-the-art show-control system, re-mastered audio, and a new, more versatile and energy-efficient lighting system along with Zazu and Iago-From the Lion King and Aladdin-greeting you at the entrance it still showed it's age. I know the people at Disney wanted to keep Walt's original vision but by then the vision was stale and the animatronic birds creepy!

I swear to God its cold plastic eyes are staring into my soul!

Oh, and for those who think that A Small World is the most ear-stabbingly-annoying Disney song have obviously not heard The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room song. Or, thanks to the lack of padding on the bird's beaks, The Clack, Clickety, Clack Room song! I remember laying awake inside our rented vacation room trying to dig out the remnants of that song and those clicks from the recesses of my mind! I was able to find a full video of the ride but I warn you that once you see what is behind those grass covered doors it will never leave, it will never leave!

Also, unless your heart gave out or there was a fire-but I doubt even if then-you were stuck in those backless, uncomfortable, wooden benches until those seed-of-chucky-birds said you could leave. Sorry if you disagree with me but it is my opinion. Speaking of animatronic horrors I introduce to you:

3. Splash Mountain (Disney World, Magic Kingdom)

 

A little word of wisdom: If you ever get on a ride meant for adults and you see that the cart has no seat belts or any kind of restraints RUN AWAY FROM IT AS IF IT WERE THE DEVIL HIMSELF WEARING A SPIKED TWENTY INCH STRAP ON AND HOLDING A REBECCA BLACK CD! Not because it's possibly dangerous but because that is the international symbol that some serious shit is about to go down! I'm not going to bother putting  a video to this because I know that you could not call yourself a Disney park goer unless you took a spin on this soaking wet terror!

And it's not exactly the five story water slide that has me quaking in my sneakers but the teeth grinding cruel build up. As you float  along, helplessly, in a water  speckled log characters from the obscure and sorta racist film Song Of The South serenade with cheery songs like: “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah",“Ev’rybody’s Got a Laughing Place", and “How Do You Do?”. I know that this was supposed to be charming but in my personal opinion I think Billy from saw is much cuter than those things!

Billy: Do You want to play a game?
Me: Yes! Just take me away from these fur covered demons!

To add on to that the ride teases you with two faux-drops-one of them guarded by two vultures who look like they can't waist to tear the rotting flesh from your corpse-before finally coming to the real drop. By the end of the ride you are soaking wet and left with nothing but the lingering chill of fear and a photo of you taken as you descend down the slope to immortalize said fear. But no matter how uncomfortable Splash Mountain and its possesed animatronics make you feel at least it doesn't leave you aching like:

2. Stitch's Great Escape! (Disney World, Magic Kingdom)

 

In this attraction-based on the animated film Lilo and Stitch-you and your family are recruited by the Galactic federation to watch over the galaxies most nefarious law breakers as prison guards. In a matter of seconds the atmosphere goes from happy-go-lucky to deadly serious as you are escorted to a a theater-like room to witness the arrival of a level ten criminal who turns out to be the little blue monster himself: expirament 626 AKA Stitch.

Just like in the film Stitch manages to get out of his restraints and runs amako around the theater, jumping on top of the seats, burping in people's faces, and even tricking the "lasers" to shoot at you. Now, unlike the first two rides the effects in this one weren't bad. The lighting, sounds, and props did a good job of immersing you into the stories and had me both laughing and shrieking at Stitches. But after my second round at this ride I don't think I'll go on it again because it did something no ride should ever do: cause me physical pain.

How could this happen, you might ask? Well turn your attention to the picture below.

These are the seats for the ride and as you notice they have harnesses on them. This is not because they jerk or move around-though it would be cool if they did-but because they move up and down to make the people sitting in them think that Stitch is running and bouncing on them. Now when you get into the theater you are instructed to sit up straight and hold still as the harnesses lower down and stop automatically at your shoulders. I really wished that the creators of this ride had made these harnesses stop just a few inches above the persons shoulders because when they do start going up and down they hurt!

As i type this my bones ache with the phantom pains, the skin blistering beneath the hot Florida sun as I pulled down my T-shirt to rub at my collar bone. While Stitch and his escape left me aching this next ride-the one ride I hate the most out of all previous three-left me crying, shaking, and mentally broken by fear! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my number one most hated amusement park ride!

1. Doctor Doom's Fearfall (Universal Studious, Island's of Adventure)

Yeah, despite the previous contents of this list the mouse does not hold claim to my most hated ride but one of marvels most dastardly baddies. Like with most rides at US this one comes with a story: Victor Von Doom, AKA Dr. Doom, has constructed a machine he is sure will be able to destroy his enemies, The Fantastic Four. The catch is that this machine doesn't run on stuff like gas or electricity but on pure fear! And the dictator plans to extract said fear by "forcing" people to ride on his Fearfall, a 150 foot drop tower that will squeeze every once of terror from your body!

The reason why I hate this ride is because at no point do I actually enjoy it! Now, it's common knowledge amongst my family that I am a big baby when it comes to roller coasters and rides like this, whimpering and chewing my nails down to the beds as I waited in line. But once I sit down in that chair and the ride gets going all of those nerves are blasted away by joy!

But that joy doesn't come when I get on this torture device; from start to finish I keep my eyes glued shut while I pray to the all mighty lord that I live to make it to the Jurassic Park attraction! I think my fear from this comes from I just don't trust it. What if the cable snaps or a support goes out? I know this is irrational but I just can't shake it and if I ever go back I am definitely skipping it!

Even though these rides rubbed me the wrong way it doesn't mean that they will do the same thing to you. So stay safe and have fun!

Sources 

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEgJbQwkFkp7mPSEYUkpVMcHh2532jbNZORR2PEIfpKPbNK4e47EV6ZV8zbCenNKciMPl2wNQd655_R1mV2cnIbh_-ESOmpnimnWdS2KmLN50BXF23cvsGFy3Oa7PpkBSgZVtSY1qWbw2VLv_CRkbazcXIoPk3-IQlISDbrpNerI3IJDz__hVRBZsKuK7Nb1918Cl1xEJQ=

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEihzhRpCXOZmQl10bi8YX80NYTmTAeHDbMU7EbJfEI5Y2Rl57DPeiFbFxzIOO0C823ZKfTAZukZMH3QNGpDDySE4etv53spq1ki5YV7vzqUAL326RrmR0Y2yzNwnnooBCbw7yva6Nc7jNyEtsOagkrWBr9aBY6deBKil4LlW9r6Jlnbl2pKSbVW0khXudVYW87uw4q3Obb7jQpPus1eRg=

https://img2.blogblog.com/img/video_object.png

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEiuRb9Fx9FRUKH5vTBDfyD_NcwgDZPjalf92Fv0wRJph_VpFNcVFhx7i2r_JOy7w5hh8KVLTFswPgPkKk-423_0F-GSS65dUdpSofVdcVh4fLniOyBF1_xpmHs__0U_UY-Q4nhpdZrNTMrTCe2RG8EIKcQoJRFWjXRWAFr7=(2).JPG&container=blogger&gadget=a&rewriteMime=image%2F*

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEjoNh90p5Cy4zM2FPzYLi1GZKDIPizA3TZ43Ix0NfdW8w2q0GJwA_KTjYK577_JIVa1AGXOk6mThr2K_wV6ILa9ZyX9yAykF5oBnKP9p015VS03VEoIOpF7mD2e3mmS2HaqqeScitgkVycYQ1n-6CMPDV65_x5Z1jaTsHS2olcN9f8FTXYduc7qqGqSJZ-odIFP8G9sN8XT29on0g=

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEh2e_LF3wfnVVs8J0U0i9JPIaJQo8ms95eeyYZumXvbSB3usyN7ctelYz24xXMjSuHwhXhMNwlnSe96_gBa3LBybwOhYabNr76-9PowPJl2cylLISWKsoJUuh67kI0EbhNYr8okilEyxwmgjH88MTtdyZ086w2z0-3U7L9bqhhmc0tD6wF3JkhCVcQY0z7v33hcbv1JLxU-iJ_D8NWYuzOO1xGIFG9JbeGHV87RWKFyjxacikZcXLBu=

http://allears.net/tp/mk/stitch36.jpg

http://www.coaster-net.com/pictures/islands-of-adventure/doctor-doom-s-fearfall-yOps.jpg